


Falling for you

by MynameisTyberia



Series: Fallen [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, M/M, i'll add tags as i go, lil tiny bit of saphael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-11-21 06:17:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11351589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MynameisTyberia/pseuds/MynameisTyberia
Summary: Alec had been looking forward to being sent to Earth. But he should have known that it wasn't gonna be as easy as he'd thought it would be.Or: the fallen angel au that literally nobody asked for





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hola! I'm back!!!! So, this was just gonna be a cute little one shot but then it spiralled out of control and now I'm four chapters in and I have no idea when I'm gonna stop. I blame it all on my lil cutie Naia, who basically reads each chapter I send her and reacts in the most positive ways. 
> 
> Enjoy the beginning of this chaos and I promise that you won't be hurt too much by the end of it

When Alec was younger, before the weight of the responsibility that he had was yet to be felt by him, he had thought about what the future would hold. There were rumours and whispers of what being a guardian angel would entail. Most angels didn’t have to wait long after their coming of age celebration for the calling of guardianship to be bestowed onto them. They would spend decades watching over their human charge, always in the shadows, never being seen but always watching and observing. Those angels would come back with stories of protection, of love and adoration. They’d tell stories to the youngers, telling them of the comfort that guardians offer to their wards. They’d speak of the loss that they’d feel when their human would be called to the world of the afterlife and the relief to know that they had been accepted through those heavenly golden gates.

But some angels didn’t have those stories.

Sometimes, a guardian angel would not be sent to look over a specific person or family, they’d be sent to wander the Earth and send those not wholly human beings back to their hiding place. No angel, young, mature or retired ever wanted that role. Those angels would come back bloody, scarred and bruised, both mentally and physically and they’d never go back down to Earth again. They never spoke about their experiences, but Alec could see the hurt and paranoia in their eyes. When guardian angels came back with a new batch of amazing stories about their wholly good humans, the other angels would twitch at every word.

He’d imagined being a very good guardian angel. Everyone had. He’d imagined looking over someone from the second they started breathing to the second they took their last breath. A large part of him looked forward to it, he could not wait to witness the actions of humans with his own eyes and he wanted to experience and live his own stories so he could tell others. But there was another part of him that was curious about what the wandering angels went through. He wanted to witness those things, wanted to stop the bad from doing their tasks. He knew how unnatural it was to want to bear witness to something that all angels feared, but he was tired of hearing the hushed whispers of what could have been and he wanted to undertake it and see it all.

***

A millennium before Alec was to go through his coming of age celebration, one of the angels, called the Others, came to see him. Alec was alone, sitting in a meadow of flowers, attempting to preen the knotted feathers growing on his wings. As soon as Alec saw movement in his eyeline, his wings were brought back in, a sharp snap that made him flinch at the loudness of it. The other angel was small, thin and wiry, with his body curling into himself. He looks frail but Alec isn’t stupid, he knows that even a weaker retired angel is still a lot more powerful than a fledging like himself.

The other sits beside him. The movement causes nearly no sound and the hairs on the back of Alec’s neck slowly begin to stand up. He doesn’t even try to make eye contact with the other. They sit in silence for what feels like years until the other breaks the silence.

“Do you know what I am?” The voice is hoarse and broken, as if it hasn’t been used for some time and Alec thinks it suits the angel. He nods his head slightly. “Do you know why I’m here?” Alec thinks about it for a moment. Does he have an idea why this frail angel is here? He’s noticed that when the other angels see him, they glare at him for a little longer than is strictly necessary. Their eyes are filled with something other than fear and paranoia. It is something akin to sadness and it isn’t something that appears and is gone, it stays until Alec or the other angel turn away.

“No.” His voice seems so quiet. He wants to say more but he doesn’t trust his voice. There is silence from the other, the hair on the back of his neck are now completely standing on end. Alec has the sudden urge to run from this being and never look back, but his feet are obviously not listening to the message because they don’t even twitch.

“I’m going to tell you something.” The other angel exhales, as if something had suddenly pressed onto his chest. “Something that I wished someone had told me.” He takes a breath, holds it for a moment, and then exhales. “But you cannot repeat it to anyone, or we’ll both be banished to Earth.”

Alec knows that whatever this unknown angel must say is serious. He almost doesn’t want to hear whatever comes next. It’s so difficult for an angel to be banished to a life of immortality on Earth’s soil. Those unfortunate few were to spend their lives becoming attached to humans and slowly watch them die without having the ability to stop it. They’d witness their brothers and sisters protect and watch them be called back to Heaven, but they would never be accepted into that place again.

Alec had heard stories of what the banished angels had done to end up with such a cruel and intense punishment. Some stories said that they were traitors, plotting against the ultimate omniscient power and they’d been found out. Other stories were a little bit more heart wrenching, the banished angels had fallen in love with the humans that they were guarding. They were exiled to Earth to watch the one they loved die and they had no power to stop it.

“I was no older than you when I was assigned.” Alec had nearly forgotten the fact that this older angel was here. “I was so excited. The fact that I wasn’t going to be weighed down by looking after a human. It was so exciting.” He laughs, the sound feels like it isn’t supposed to be there. “I was so wrong about that.”

“They tell you that your job is to send the demons back.” Alec flinches at the word ‘demons’, but he attempts to cover it up by starting to pick at the grass at his feet. “But it’s worse than that. You’re not going to survive it.” The other angel laughs again, this time the sound seems more sarcastic, as if its mocking something. “Sure, you’ll come back. But you’ll never be the same. You’ll have scars littering your skin and no matter what you do or how much you try, they won’t ever go away.” Alec looks at the angel’s hands. He sees the small scars on his palm and he wonders what caused them. “You’ll have blood on your hands and sure, you can wash it off, but every time you look at them, it will remind you of what you did.” The angel’s hands begin rubbing at the other, almost of their own accord. “Look at me, fledgling.” Alec does. The other angel doesn’t look as frail as the first-time Alec locked eyes with him. His crumpled body seems to exert power. “If you come back then you’ll come back broken.” There is a loud snap and Alec watches as the other angel unfurls his wings. “You’ll come back empty.” The wings unfurl to show the feathers on the wings are a mixture of pure white and red. It strikes Alec as strange and frightening. The red seems to look as if it has been poured onto the wings. It reminds Alec of something dripping; something like blood.

***

After that, Alec tries to forget. He spends his time preparing for his coming of age celebration. He trains with Izzy and Jace, and ignores any questions about why he’s acting less like his usual self. When his parents ask him if he’s ready to become a guardian, he smiles and offers eager responses to all their questions.

When he’s alone, he unfurls his wings and observes each feather. He checks for any difference in colour, but there is nothing. At night, he dreams of blood. He dreams of floating in a sea of red. Some nights, that’s all he dreams of. His sleep is calm and uninterrupted, almost soothing. Alec doesn’t like to think about why the image of floating in blood is so calming to him. There are nights when he wakes up to the image of him with wings tainted with red, burnt into the inside of his eyelids. The morning after those nights, he deflects any questions of concern with a weak smile and a shrug. Those are the days when Alec spends hours touching the feathers on his wings, gently tearing at any that have turned a white-grey.

A decade before he will be of age, Alec hears of an angel being banished to wander the Earth. The story talks of one of the other angels being caught with attempting to fraternise with the demon world. The fledglings talk of the other angel falling victim to the consequences of what he saw. They speak of the severity of the punishment, that maybe the angel should have suffered a fate much worse than living on Earth. It becomes a scary story that fledglings tell others as a warning of not being assigned to watch over a specific human or family. It becomes a story to be told to keep fledglings away from the other angels, to keep them wholly good for fear of becoming one of them.

Alec doesn’t try to stop any of them from telling the story. If it keeps them focused on their training and behaviour, then it’s perfect for Alec. But he can’t help but to twitch at some of the outrageous stories that they come up with. He flinches when they laugh at the other angels and he exhales out a sharp breath at their mocking remarks. He offers them all a fake smile when they look to him for some response. Alec laughs when the others laugh but he knows the truth.

He knows that the other angel has been banished for what he had said to Alec. When he’s called to the Clave of Angels, he intends to tell them the truth, at least then the weight of this secret would be lessened. But when he walks in, parents on either side of him, he knows that telling the truth would just entail him to the same fate as the other angel. The room they walk him to is dark, the only light are the spotlights highlighting the Clave members. His parents are guided away from him, pushed to the side where Alec cannot see them. They are replaced by two angels who guide him forward and put pressure on his shoulder so that he’s forced onto his knees. He keeps his head bowed, making sure that there’s no emotions shown on his face.

“Alec Lightwood. Eldest of the Lightwood Clan. Welcome to the Clave.” He keeps his head bowed, but the loud whispers of his mother force him to lift his head slightly. He cannot see the faces of the Clave, but he can sense the eyes of all of them focused solely on him.

“Why am I here?” His voice sounds far too soft and scratchy to his own ears. He wants to cough, but something tells him that even that small and insignificant gesture will make him look weak.

“The angel that was banished. He had told me that he has spoken to you.” There is a moment when Alec thinks about the other angel telling them of everything that he said. Perhaps he’s thrown Alec into the line of fire to save himself. Perhaps his banishment is a slap on the wrist compared to what Alec is in store for. “What did you speak of?”

“He socialised with other fledglings. Yet you do not bring them here to talk of their actions, only mine, why is that?” He hears the hushed whisper of ‘Alec’ from his mother but he does not make any move to acknowledge her.

“Do not fret Maryse. Your son is correct to ask that.” He hears his mother’s gentle apology. Part of him wants to scream at her for showing respect to these beings. These vultures can smell fear and weakness and they feed off it until there’s nothing left. “We will speak to them after we’ve spoken to you.”

Alec scoffs, the sound echoing around the walls of the room. “He spoke, I listened. He told me to prepare for my coming of age celebration. I thanked him. It was nothing significant.”

“And that’s all he spoke of?” Alec nods, with no hesitation. “You’re not lying, are you?”

Alec looks up, makes eye contact with the angel standing in front of him. The angel is a young man, he doesn’t look much older than Alec himself. His aura leaks power and confidence, Alec almost wants to bow his head from the intensity of it all. Instead, he smirks.

“Why would I lie? I have nothing to gain and everything to lose.”

***

After that, the decade passes quite quickly. He notices the high-ranking angels following him, they attempt to hide themselves from view, ducking into shadows whenever Alec would look up. They’re not exactly subtle with their hiding places, and Alec dislikes the constant reminder that he’s being watched. He ignores it though. He ignores the heavy footsteps that seem to be constantly present. He pretends that the breathing behind him is something that he’s imagined and that it’s not from the two heavy set angels that are ten paces behind him.

He also spends the decade ignoring the looks from the other angels. They look at him with a mixture of fear, admiration and concern. None of them ever approach him, whatever they had to say, they say it with their eyes. Sometimes the looks would be quick, nothing more than a glance. But other times, the looks would linger, sometimes they looked at him as if they wanted to say something but then they would see the angels behind him and they would look away.

So, he spends his last decade ignoring angels. He trains Jace and Izzy, ignores any of their questions or their looks. He protects them from the other, less polite fledglings with a glare and vicious snarl. He becomes a fledgling that people look up to, but when they ask him to stay and talk with them, he smiles and turns them all down.

***

When he wakes on the morning of his coming of age celebration, he doesn’t feel any excitement or nervousness. He feels some sort of uneasiness, he knows that his life is about to change, and something tells him that it’s not for the better.

He lets himself be dragged out of bed by Izzy, who then proceeds to start throwing different articles of clothing in his direction. He dodges the first few but Izzy is throwing them at a faster pace than he can dodge them.

“So, have you thought about what you’re going to wear?” Izzy seems to sound more excited than anyone else. She’s already halfway digging through another pile of clothes, sorting them into two smaller mounds.

“Does it matter?” His arms are crossed. He’s trying to look like he doesn’t want her in his space right now, but she obviously doesn’t leave him.

“Are you being serious right now?” She looks up from the clothes. “Of course, it matters! You’re about to be released into the world of humans! Isn’t this exciting?”

Alec rolls his eyes. He wants to tell her that this is the least exciting thing in the world. He’s sure that he was more excited about babysitting Zeus for a century, and believe it, that is not exciting. _At all._

“This isn’t exciting Izzy.”

She looks at him properly then. She turns her whole body to face him, crosses her arms and gives him one of her Lightwood glares. “Okay seriously, what’s up? We spend 3 millennia waiting for this moment and you’re acting like it’s all some big inconvenience for you.”

He puts his hands up, palms out in a defensive move. “Okay look, I’m sorry. I’m just a little nervous about the whole thing.”

As soon as he says it, Izzy’s face softens. “You’re gonna be the best guardian angel ever. You’re gonna make us all proud.” She hugs him then and Alec can feel all his uneasiness just disappear. “I’m gonna miss you big bro.”

He wants to cry. He wants to hold Izzy and wish the world away. “I’m gonna miss you too.”

***

The ceremony itself is a small affair. His family are there, every single one of them have huge smiles plastered on their faces. He wants to smile as well, but he knows exactly what is about to happen next. He can see the leader of the Clave in the corner of his eyeline, tries to keep his head bowed so as not to raise suspicion. But he’s fighting the urge to charge at him and claw until he feels bone.

He’s kneeling in front of another member of the Clave. “Alexander Gideon Lightwood, Eldest of the Lightwood Clan. You are to be a guardian angel.” He hears the loud snap of his wings opening. He lets his wings cover him, soft, gentle feathers seem to soothe and comfort him. He bows his head further and closes his eyes.

He takes a breath, prepares himself for the final part of the ceremony. The angel touches a feather, and Alec feels the electric spark of Heaven’s power spread across his wings. “You are now a guardian and ready to be assigned.”

Alec stands then, his wings snapping together. He follows the angel and the leader of the Clave into a separate room. He takes a glance at Izzy and sees joy and happiness all over her face. He smiles back at her and hopes that she’ll still be smiling when he comes back from Earth. Will she still be proud when he comes back bloody and bruised? He hopes that part of him stays with her. He hopes that when he comes back broken, she will help put him back together.

The room they walk into is dark. It takes a second for Alec to get used to the darkness, before he feels himself being pushed to the floor. He fights the pressure, pushes himself toward the force and he can feel his fingers forming into claws. He can feel flesh underneath them and he feels it give way. He claws at the flesh, feels the blood running between his fingers. The rational part of him is screaming at him to stop, but he’s been pushed into a corner and all he can do is fight.

“Okay. That’s enough.” Alec is being pushed away from whoever he’s clawing at. It takes him a moment to realise that its him who is snarling. “We need to assign you.” This time, when he feels the hand at his shoulder, pushing him down, he goes quietly. The hand at his shoulder goes over his hands and the liquid that Alec can hear dripping from his fingers, is suddenly gone. “Close your eyes Lightwood.”

Alec scoffs. “I can’t see anything anyway so, why should I?”

The kick to his back has him falling forwards. The pressure on his wings makes him feel like he’s dying. “Close them.” He does. “When you open your eyes, you’ll be on the Earth. A wanderer. Let’s hope you come back in one piece.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so, i really like the idea of raphael, simon and alec being bros and that's what their dynamic is gonna be like 
> 
> enjoy!

When he opens his eyes, he’s in a meadow. It takes a moment for Alec to realise that it isn’t the same meadow as the ones in Heaven; the air is different, its thick and tastes heavier. Alec has a difficult time inhaling it without coughing. The intensity of the coughing makes him ache all over. Every inhale only seems to make it worse, the aching changes to a dull but vicious throbbing.

“Hey! Are you okay?” Alec tries to look towards the source of the question, but it’s far too bright for him to see clearly. He can see a dark, blurry figure walking towards him. He attempts to focus on the figure, but the combination of the coughing, dull throbbing, and brightness is too much for him. “Whoa.” The figure seems to be kneeling in front of him. Alec hadn’t even noticed that he’d dropped to the floor. “Take some deep breaths.” Alec does. He closes his eyes and focuses on taking each breath. Every breath he takes feels like acid burning him from within, but the dull throbbing has subsided. “There we go.” When Alec opens his eyes, the blurry figure has become a man. He’s young and wearing round spectacles. “You okay now dude?”

Alec looks at the guy. He lets his angelic power creep towards the man, but there is no clear reaction. _Not an Angel then_. There are small specks of darkness in the aura around him, but he isn’t a demon, but he does have some link to those untoward creatures.

Besides the specks of darkness, the guy’s aura is bright. It isn’t quite white, more of a dulled yellow. Alec takes a second to search through his memory to find the specific angel lesson that discussed human auras. Why is this the lesson that Alec let himself be distracted by Jace? He traces the paths of memory in his mind, _pink, red, blue_. He finds the information that he’s been seeking quickly. A human with a dulled yellow aura are pure, not tainted by the actions of demons and not under any specific angel protection.

“Dude! Are you okay?” The man says it slowly and loudly, dragging out the vowels for a few seconds.

“No need to shout. I can hear perfectly fine. Thanks.” Alec tries to get himself up so that he’s standing, but the sudden speed of which he attempts to stand doesn’t help him because he suddenly feels dizzy. He closes his eyes, takes a few breaths before attempting to stand again. This time, the young man’s hand is at his shoulder and the other gripping his elbow, guiding him to standing.

“Okay buddy. Y’know, standing too quickly can make you feel dizzy.” He wants to pull his arm out of this guy’s grip but something stops him. If he’s one of the nicest humans then he’d rather keep him on side than being on his own. besides, Alec would hate himself if he would be the reason for this guy to become less polite. “You okay dude?”

“Please don’t call me dude.” He takes another deep breath, counts to ten then exhales. The dizziness has dissipated. “I’m fine. Just getting used to these”- Alec searches for a phrase that doesn’t make him sound insane, - “land legs.” It’s probably not the right thing to say, but he knows it sounds a lot better than telling the young man the truth.

“Land legs?” The young man gives him a confused look. “Don’t take any offence, but you don’t look like a sailor to me.”

“And what does a sailor look like?”

The young man gives him a onceover. “I don’t know but definitely not you.”

“Wow. God obviously ran out of intellect when he created you.”

The man looks at him with shock, before laughing loudly. “A sarcastic sailor? I should have guessed.” He offers a hand to Alec. “I’m Simon.” Alec stares at Simon’s hand. “Dude. You’re glaring a hole into my hand. I’m not gonna hit you.” He nudges Alec’s shoulder with his outstretched hand.

“Alec.” He takes the hand offered to him, shakes it gently. “Nice to meet you Simon.”

Simon smiles and Alec can’t help but to offer one back. “So, Alec, how long have you been off land?”

The three millennia of Alec’s life as a fledgling flash before his eyes. “Far too long.” An image of Jace, Max and Izzy laughing flashes in front of his eyes. “I already miss it.”

Simon’s whole demeanour changes at that: he frowns and the aura around him changes from the dulled yellow to a dulled yellow with a dark blue frame around it. _He’s showing sadness_. “Aw man, that sucks. I hope you get back there soon.”

Alec’s mind shows him images of the other angels. The way they’d flinch at the smallest thing. The way their eyes would darken at the stories of the guardian angels. The last Alec’s mind conjures up is the image of the red cascading over the other angel’s white wings. He can feel the fear trying to show on his face, but he reigns it in, offers a sad smile instead.

“Thanks.”

Simon gives him the same sad smile. He checks his watch and suddenly that sad smile is replaced with something akin to worry. “Oh shoot.” He looks flustered. “I got to go. But I’ll see you around?” Alec gives him a confused look. “C’mon dude. I’m offering you my friendship here. Don’t make me feel like a fool.” Alec smiles and nods. “Awesome. I’m normally around now every day. I’ll see you soon.” And with that, the young man is gone.

***

Alec decides to stay in the general vicinity, it’s warm and bright and he has nothing better to do that watch the people make their way through the meadow. Groups of mothers push their prams across the path, chatting to one another and occasionally shouting a warning at their young children about staying close to them. There are dogwalkers who throw sticks repeatedly until their dogs become bored or tire from the simplicity of the game.

As the day goes by and the sun becomes brighter, Alec notices several people in the grass, some with books open on their laps, others have drawing pads with an array of pencils and paints. The whole scene makes Alec want to take a picture of it all so that he can remember how polite and perfect humanity can be.

“Alec?” The angel is brought out of his daydream from the sound of his name. He looks up and sees an older angel looking down at him.

“Adrian?”

The angel laughs. The sound is too harsh for Alec and he internally flinches. Alec had never liked Adrian. The older angel always seemed to have a chip on his shoulder. He always thought himself superior and separate from Alec.

“Wow.” He smiles, it reminds Alec of a creature with a distorted face. “Time really does fly.” He sits down beside Alec, he fights the urge to say something sharp and biting. “So, they finally let you out of Heaven then?”

“No. I escaped.” He rolls his eyes. “Obviously they let me out of Heaven.”

“Y’know, there’s a human saying, ‘sarcasm is the lowest form of wit’. You’d do best to remember that.”

Alec feels the urge to claw that smirk off Adrian’s face, but he stops it from developing. “But it is still wit. You seem to lack that quality.”

That seems to wipe the smirk off Adrian’s face and Alec feels a small flash of triumph. The older angel looks away, he nods towards the meadow of people.

“Which one are you looking after?”

Alec looks towards the meadow of people. The mothers who seem to be chasing after their children. The teenagers who seem to be grouped together and laughing with each other. He knows that he could lie. He knows that he could pretend and say that any of those people are his assignment. But he also knows that it’s only a matter of time until Adrian knows he’s a wanderer. It’ll be broadcasting on their Angel radio soon enough.

“None.” Adrian turns to look at him. “I haven’t been given an assignment.”

“Huh. I never thought a Lightwood would be a wanderer. Especially not the golden boy.”

“Stuff happens.” Alec decides not to comment on the ‘golden boy’ comment. There are far too many people present for him to scar Adrian’s face without bringing unwanted attention to himself.

“What do you even have to do?”

Alec rolls his eyes, _again_. “It’s pretty obvious what I do. It’s in the name. Y’know, a _wanderer_.” He shrugs his shoulders, looks back towards the people going about their day. “Besides, I haven’t been here long. So, I haven’t had to do anything yet.”

There is silence then. Both are observing the people in the meadow. Alec thinks about how many of these people believe; how many have any idea that his kind exist.

“Good luck.” Alec turns his neck so quickly that he feels a faint twinge of pain. Adrian isn’t looking at him but Alec can see that he’s being completely serious about it all. “Sending those things”- his voice seems to seep disgust – “back to where they belong? I can only imagine how much power that’s going to take.” Adrian looks at him then, eyes soft. “Be careful, I don’t want to have to explain to your siblings why their big brother is broken.” The image of the other angels, bloody and bruised, flashes in front of Alec’s eyes. He remembers what the other angel had said to him, how he’d come ack broken.

“I mean it Alec. Please, be careful.”

Alec nods. Adrian gives him a smile before walking away.

***

He stays sitting there until the sun sets and moonlight fills the sky. He doesn’t have a definitive plan, he just thinks that he’ll stumble across any ‘less than human’ beings. He walks the streets with his head bowed, just enough for him to see but not enough to bring any attention towards him, positive or negative. He keeps his posture like that until he leaves the neighbourhood. He hears the wolf whistles and loud comments, and he lets them follow him until he’s clear of it all.

When he does feel safe and confident enough to lift his head, he sees a familiar face on the opposite sidewalk. Simon’s face doesn’t look as happy or as welcoming as it did earlier on in the day. His face is lighted by the streetlights, highlighting the lines of worry and sadness that decorate it. He doesn’t seem to notice Alec watching him.

He knows he shouldn’t, but something pushes him to turn around and follow Simon. He doesn’t want to admit that he’s worried about the human, but meeting a human who is so caring and welcoming, triggers the nurturing and protective trait within him.

Alec keeps to the shadows, making sure that his footsteps match Simon’s own. He tries to keep his footsteps light and gentle. Every time Simon stops, either to take a steady breath or to look behind him, Alec pushes further into the shadows and looks out at the night. His eyes dart at any small movement he notices. There is something, a quick flash that if it wasn’t Alec, it would just be labelled as a trick of the light and forgotten about. But it _is_ Alec and he knows it isn’t a trick. He knows that whatever it is, it doesn’t want to be seen.

He makes sure to focus some of his attention on the movement. He’s prepared to harm anyone who attempts to cause any harm to Simon. Most of his attention is focused on the human as he makes his way through the empty streets. Simon makes his way to a large lighted building; a hospital. Alec watches as he walks in, head bowed. He decides not to follow, instead he keeps himself hidden, away from the brightness of the building. He looks for the flash of movement and when he sees it, he pushes himself further into the shadow, making sure he cannot be seen.

He watches the dark figure from afar, how his silhouette is lighted by the harsh light of the building. He seems to not notice Alec watching him. He watches as the figure moves away from the building and toward the darkened shadows. Alec waits a second before he follows.

He’s close enough to see the aura of the figure. The aura that seems to match the night sky. Alec knows what he should do. He knows that his blade is close enough that there will be no sound if he reaches for it. He knows that he would be quick enough that the vampire won’t realise what happened until Alec’s blade is embedded in his chest. But Alec already knows that the figure could have harmed any human and they haven’t.

So, Alec decides to take this slowly. He ignores the blade that seems to be burning a mark on his thigh. He fights the urge to attack and destroy. He takes gentle steps as not to startle the creature. When he’s within touching distance, he speaks.

“You waiting for a ready meal?” It’s not the right thing to say and, with clear hindsight, a joke about food is not the right thing to say to a vampire. Making no noise while walking towards him is also not Alec’s smartest move, but hindsight is a funny thing.

The vampire is quick to attack, fangs bared. His hands are inches away from Alec’s throat before the angel makes a move. He dodges the hands that are grappling at his throat and kicks at the vampire’s legs. The vampire hadn’t expected that, because he doesn’t try to soften his fall. He falls to the ground with a loud crack. Alec takes the chance to let his claws out. He can feel them slowly lengthen. He grabs the vampire by the neck, squeezes to stop the snarl from coming out. The vampire is clawing at his arms, attempting to get free from his grip, but it is futile.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” As soon as it leaves his mouth, he wants to hit himself. “I’m not going to hurt you anymore than I am now.” The vampire claws even more, tries to kick at Alec. “Okay look, I’ll let you go if you promise not to hurt me or run away.” The vampire stops moving and Alec retracts his claws. “Okay good. I’m letting you go now.” He watches as the creature nods. “But please don’t do anything stupid. I really don’t want us to be repeating all of this.” He lets the vampire down slowly, watching all the small movements of the creature. He’s prepared to attack the creature if he makes any sudden movements.

When the vampire is on his feet, Alec removes his hand from around his neck and takes a step back. “Okay good.” The vampire gives him a look that Alec can only describe as being deadly. “I probably shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that.” He shrugs and offers a sheepish smile. “I won’t be doing that again.”

“Maybe next time I’ll kill you.”

Alec laughs. The vampire looks at him as if he’s grown a second head. “Killing someone like me isn’t that easy. But please, I would love to see you try.”

“Someone like you?” He looks over Alec. His eyes linger at the blade at Alec’s thigh and Alec doesn’t even realise that his hand is hovering over the handle. The vampire snarls and Alec puts his hand up in a defensive gesture. He glares, Alec takes it as his cue to take another step back. “I thought you were a myth? Something to scare the children of demons?”

Alec looks down at himself and then back at the vampire. “Obviously I’m real.”

The vampire rolls his eyes. “In our stories, they don’t speak of you as being sarcastic.”

Alec grins. “Your stories are missing out.” He offers a hand. “Alec.” The vampire looks at Alec and then his hand. “Look, if I wanted to kill you then you’d already be dead.” At the vampire’s glare, he removes his hand. “Probably shouldn’t have said that. But it’s true.”

The vampire looks him up and down and Alec almost, _almost_ wants to grab at the blade and bring Heaven down on this unsuspecting vampire. But he doesn’t. The being hasn’t done anything evil yet.

“Raphael.” At Alec’s confused look, he rolls his eyes. “Raphael. That’s my name.”

Alec can’t help it, he laughs. Raphael glares at him and Alec suddenly stops laughing. “Wait a second. You’re being serious?”

“I don’t think my parents were expecting their child to become a creature of the night. Ironic, yes? To be named after an angel but to become a creature of Hell.”

There is a silence. Alec wants to soothe and comfort but he realises that any comforting touch would scare Raphael.

“How did you find me?”

“Don’t worry, you weren’t obvious. I was just looking for it.” Alec looks towards the building, suddenly remembering why he was here. “Why were you following him?”

He hears Raphael take a breath. “I love the guy.” Alec looks over at him. “I know how ridiculous it sounds but I do.”

“That explains why he has spots of darkness around him.” Raphael looks at him with confusion over his face. “An Angel trick. I’ll explain later.” There’s silence again. He feels like he must break it. “So, a vampire in love with a human? That’s not original, at all.”

“It’s different. It’s not some perverse obsession where I’m in love with the scent of his blood.” His eyes soften. “I love him. I want to protect him. I would destroy anything that would even think about harming him.” Alec feels like he should take another step back. “Why are you here?”

“He was the first human I met. I saw him walking alone and I wanted to make sure he was okay.” He nods towards the hospital. “Who is he visiting?”

He hears Raphael take a breath. “His mother is ill. Extremely so and he isn’t ready to admit that she’s dying. For the last three months, he’s visited her every day and night. He prays for her.” Raphael looks at him, disgust on his face. “Maybe one of you could answer him next time.”

“It doesn’t work like that.”

“Maybe it should.”

Alec suddenly feels angry. Not at Raphael but at the angels. Simon may not be wholly innocent, but his prayers shouldn’t be going unanswered. An Angel should have at least listened. “I’m sorry for that.”

“Why don’t I believe you?” Raphael snarls. “You’re one step away from killing me and letting his mother die.”

“I’m not going to kill you.” He decides not to mention Simon’s mother. “You love him. Love is a gift, I’m not going to take it away from either of you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love sassy Raphael and I will fight anyone who says different. Also, Magnus makes an appearance in this chapter. 
> 
> Like always, this is for Naia who sends me messages telling me to stop hurting these two. But will I stop? No.

Raphael had been kind enough to offer Alec a place to stay. The whole thing seemed a little bizarre, when he tried to voice his confusion, all he got as a reply was a shrug and a muttered excuse. He knew that he probably should have pressed further, but he didn’t have a place to stay so he wasn’t going to push it. So instead, he’d changed the subject. Alec had asked about Simon. He was uncomfortable with leaving him alone, but Raphael was quick to say that Simon tended to stay with his mother until morning and that nothing was going to happen to him.

The journey to Raphael’s place was filled with silence, Raphael didn’t make any attempts at conversation and Alec was more than happy to follow his lead. Instead, he let himself get lost in his thoughts. He thought of Simon and his mother. Why hadn’t an Angel listened to his prayers? Had they heard him and decided not to interfere? It just didn’t make sense to Alec. Simon didn’t seem the evil or bad type of human that did not get the pleasure of an angel’s love. He thought of Izzy, Jace and Max. Would they be worried? Scared? Ashamed? He thought of what was to come. How long would it be until he came face-to-face with a demon? Would he be able to do what was expected of him?

***

“Home, sweet home.”

It was not ‘sweet’. There was nothing sweet about the dark and miserable place that was Raphael’s home. But it was better than Alec was expecting. Although dark, the Gothic furnishings looked homely as well as otherworldly. There were pictures of Simon and Raphael decorating the wall.

“Not to put a dampener on things, but don’t you think Simon seeing me here will be a shock?”

“Don’t worry about that. Simon shares an apartment with his friend Clary. It’s closer to his family. Besides, the question of sharing a residence has yet to be discussed.” He makes his way to a leather sofa and sits, motions for Alec to join him. “Come, sit. We have much to talk about.” He takes the seat offered to him. The motion seems to relax Raphael, all tension from before gone, replaced with relaxation and comfort. “You never told me why you were following Simon.”

“I really don’t think I should be telling you anything.”

Raphael rolls his eyes. “Who do you think would believe me hm? A vampire talking to an Angel? And surviving? Unheard of. Besides, I’ve welcomed you into my home, the least you could do is tell me a few things.”

Alec thinks about it. He could lie, but why would he do that? Raphael is right, nobody would believe him. “It’s my first day doing whatever this is and I’m not used to the atmosphere.” He looks at Raphael. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the air is far too thick. I wasn’t used to it and I choked.” There is a laugh. Alec looks over at Raphael who has a wide grin in his face. “What’s so funny?”

“The air nearly killed you? Do you not see how funny that is?” Alec gives him a blank stare and Raphael stops laughing. “Sorry, please continue. I’ll refrain from laughing at the image of an Angel choking on Earth’s air.”

“I’m glad that my pain gives you enjoyment.” Raphael opens his mouth to say something. “That was not your cue to talk.” The vampire closes his mouth and Alec continues. “Anyway, Simon saw that I was in pain and, instead of laughing at my pain like some people”- he gives Raphael another glare – “he helped me through it.” 

“Yeah, that sounds like Simon. Always running to a stranger’s aid.” Raphael has a smile on his face but he’s not looking at Alec. The look on his face is vacant, as if he’s lost in his memories.

“How did you meet him?” He doesn’t know why he let the words leave his mouth. As soon as he says it, the vacant look is gone and Raphael is glaring at him.

“Truthfully? He was bleeding and I could smell it. He was supposed to be easy prey but when I saw him, it was so different.” He smiles softly. “He looked so vulnerable, and something in me clicked. I nursed him back to health and the rest, as they say, is history.”

Alec can see the image before him, a bleeding Simon, hand over the wound but blood seeping over the gaps between his fingers. Raphael, fangs down and ready to attack. When he blinks, the image has changed to Raphael cleaning the wound and Simon sleeping.

“Anyway, you said something about darkness.” It takes a moment for him to realise what Raphael is talking about. “You called it an Angel trick.”

“Oh, that. Every being in existence has an aura. It’s like a light that they omit.” He waves his hand in Raphael’s direction. “Yours is as dark as the night sky. Which means that you’re part of the Downworld. Simon’s is almost pure, apart from the small specks of black. They’re hardly significant and wouldn’t be noticeable to an Angel unless they were looking for it.”

“Oh. So, what kind of an Angel are you?”

“I’m not one of those archangels, that bring the wrath of Heaven down onto anyone who looks at them wrong.” Alec shudders at the memory of one of the powerful angels destroying a country over something trivial. “No. I’m something different. A Guardian.”

“Hm. So who or what are you guarding?”

He takes a breath, counts to five and exhales. “It’s complicated and a long story.” Raphael laughs.

“Have you forgotten what we are? A vampire and an Angel, two immortal beings. Time is something we have plenty of, my friend.”

Alec smirks. “Yeah, you’re right.” He sinks further into the sofa, tries to get as comfortable as he possibly can. Then he begins talking. “Not all guardian angels have the privilege to do what they are created for. Some are given a fate which is much, much worse. Angels call them the others, but they’re proper title is wanderer. No Angel is certain as to what their role is. There are assumptions, of course. They send demons back to Hell. Perhaps they kill the Downworlders they come across. The only certain thing is that they walk the Earth, protecting humanity.” There is a pause. He can see Raphael’s brain working. He can see the vampire opening then closing his mouth, wanting to say something. “Go ahead.”

Raphael leans forward, elbows on his knees and hands motioning wildly. “So, if you’re not here for anyone specific, why were you following Simon?”

Alec shrugs. “Simon is what I imagine humanity should be. When I saw him, I worried he was going to be hurt.” He smiles. “I’m glad he wasn’t but I’ll be keeping an eye on him.”

“Good, because I may be talented, but even I can’t look after him all the time.” The vacant is look is back on his face and it worries Alec. He nudges him softly. Raphael looks at him and Alec sees a small flash of fear in his eyes.

“What is it?”

He studies Raphael, sees that some flash of fear but then it’s gone. “Have you heard of demon summoning?”

Alec has. In darkened corners where Angels would whisper about the acts of humans and what would happen to them. He can’t imagine Simon summoning a demon. He doesn’t want to imagine what would happen to him in the depths of Hell.

“I’m worried that Simon may involve himself with the wrong kind. His mother is dying. It’s only a matter of time until he finds the right spell and gives up his life for that of his mother’s.”

Alec can only imagine what Lucifer’s minions will do to Simon’s soul if they got their hands on it. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on him.”

***

When Alec wakes up in the morning, Raphael is wrapped up in a foray of blankets. The image makes Alec laugh. “Oh look, a creature of the night spends his downtime in blankets and watching daytime television.” He laughs again, but Raphael’s glare stops him. “Aren’t you gonna” – he waves his hand in the general direction of the vampire – “sleep in a coffin? Or a cave? Somewhere dark and scary?” Raphael gives Alec another glare and he can’t stop the little chuckle that leaves him. “I’m sorry, I can’t fear you while you’re cocooned like that.” He chuckles again. “You realise why it’s funny though right?”

Raphael snuggles further into the blankets, until all Alec can see is the vampire’s face amongst the blankets. “You’re an Angel. You’re not supposed to laugh at us inferior beings. Besides, I always spend my mornings like this.”

“So, the coffin?”

“I’m a vampire. We don’t sleep. And why a coffin? They’re cramped and dark, why would I want to lie in one of those?” Raphael looks him over and Alec must stifle the laugh that’s trying to force its way out. “So, Angel’s sleep then?”

Alec shrugs. “We don’t have to. It’s just that sleeping becomes part of the routine. It helps us keep time.” He doesn’t want to have another conversation about Angels and how they function. So, he decides to change the subject before the conversation strays into Angel territory. “You’re just gonna spend your day like this?” Raphael hums. “Okay then. I’m just going to check on Simon.”

That startles Raphael. He sits up suddenly, blankets pooling on his lap. When he looks at Alec, there is the same flash of fear that he saw last night. “You can’t tell him about me.”

“Want to explain why?” The vampire shakes his head. Alec doesn’t want to make Raphael feel uncomfortable so he doesn’t push the issue. “Okay. Well, I’ll see you later.” 

***

Alec goes to the same meadow where he met Simon yesterday. He sits on an empty bench and takes a moment to think. He thinks of all the reasons the Angels wouldn’t be listening to Simon’s prayers. He can’t think of a logical reason as to why the Angels wouldn’t be listening. He thinks about what Raphael had said. Does Simon have any idea what Raphael is? If he does then does he care? Perhaps Raphael hasn’t told him because he’s worried Simon will see him differently. He might be scared.

“Hey Alec!” He’s startled out of his thoughts by Simon walking towards him. He’s smiling widely at him. “I’m glad I ran into you.” He sits down beside Alec, grabs at his backpack and pulls out a tub of something. He passes it to Alec and the angel takes it slowly from him. “Well, open it then!” He looks at Simon before looking back at the tub. He opens it slowly, trying not to let the confusion show on his face. As soon as he opens it, the smell of something rich attacks his senses. “They’re chocolate brownies.” Alec takes a small square of the brownie. He takes a small bite and he can’t help but hum as he chews and swallows. “You like it?” He hums again before taking another bite. “Whenever I’m missing family, I indulge in comfort food. I remember you said you were missing your family and I thought that maybe this would help.”

“It has.” He finishes the piece he’s holding before offering the tub to Simon. “I wish I could bake something as good as this.”

“You mean you can’t bake?”

“It’s not that I can’t, I just haven’t tried. Isabelle, my sister, she’s baked and cooked before but it’s always been a” – he remembers the incident a century ago, Izzy had attempted to make something sweet for Max’s birthday but it ended up with a ruined kitchen – “disaster.”

Simon laughs. “Tell me about it. My sister is the same. I’m not even sure she knows how to make toast.”

They both laugh. Alec thinks that the whole scene is very friendly. The thought itself makes him smile. If someone had told him two days ago that he’d be laughing with a human; that they’d be friends, he would have laughed in their face and called them a liar.

But he is happy though. He’s glad that he’s found a piece of humanity that has yet to be completely corrupted. Alec isn’t going to let a demon destroy Simon’s humanity.

“So, are these” – he points to the tub of brownies that Simon’s holding – “your own recipe or a best kept family secret?”

Simon looks down at the brownies, mouth slightly turned downward. “It’s my mum’s recipe. She taught us both how to bake and cook but I seem to be the child with the natural talent.” He laughs. “I think my mum believes that mine taste better than hers, but she’s wrong.”

“She sounds like an amazing person.” Simon offers Alec a small smile but it doesn’t look real to the angel. He has the same vacant look on his face that Alec saw on Raphael. He places his hand on Simon’s shoulder and the younger man looks up. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just” – he closes his eyes, takes a breath – “my mum, she’s in hospital and, I don’t know. Everything is getting to me, I think.” He opens his eyes. “Aw dude, I’m sorry. I’m just dropping this all on you.”

“Honestly, it’s okay.” He smiles. “I’m sorry to hear about your mum, but you and your sister. She’s got something to fight for.”

“Yeah maybe. She is a stubborn one. But enough about my family though, what about yours?”

“There’s not much to tell really. We’re a dysfunctional family that somehow functions effectively.”

“Aw, come on dude.” He nudges at Alec. The angel glares at him. “I told you about mine.”

“Stop whining, you sound like a child.” Alec’s glare softens and the human laughs. “And stop calling me dude.”

“Stop trying to change the subject.”

Alec sighs, already knowing that there’s no way that he can try not to speak about his family. “We’re functional, as much as we can be I guess. My parents, they’re er, they’re strong” – he remembers the way his parents were defiant against the Clave when it came to Max’s training. The way his mother argued that Max was old and mature enough to begin his weapons training. He remembered the spark of respect that he had for them both in that moment – “But I think they both forget that kids just want to be kids.” The same image, except Max is pleading, begging for Maryse to let him be an untrained fledgling for a little longer. She ignores him, only pointing toward Alec and telling Max that he should want to be like his older brother.

“Sorry about that. It sounds like it sucks.” He nudges Alec again. The Angel knows that he should glare and put the fear of God into this human but he can’t help but smile. “What about your siblings?”

“They’re handfuls, all three of them. But I guess when you’re the older brother you just have to accept it.” He grins. “Max is the youngest. We spoil him and he knows it. But for someone so young, he does have a lot to say about everything.” Alec remembers how Max would tell Jace how his actions toward the other angels was disrespectful. Jace just accepted it without another word. “Jace is a little” – Alec searches his memory to find the right word – “complex. He acts rough and tough but he’s a softie at heart.” He laughs. “This one time, when we were kids, he injured himself. He pretended that he was fine, but as soon as everyone disappeared, he was quietly sobbing.” Alec finds the memory, plays it out in his mind. Jace had been hurt and vulnerable, but with a swipe of Alec’s hand, the cut had disappeared and Jace had been up and ready to go.

“Izzy is the only girl and I’m really protective because of it. But she can definitely hold her own.” He remembers how Izzy trains. The way the younger fledglings would tremble with fear at the idea of sparring with Izzy. “I miss all of them.” It isn’t a small feeling. His body aches with how much he misses each of them. He doesn’t want to imagine what each of them are feeling.

Simon doesn’t say anything, just offers him a brownie. Alec accepts it with a smile.

***

They sit there for a while, sharing stories of their families and laughing at them. Alec doesn’t ask about his mother and Simon doesn’t offer up any information. He doesn’t have any inkling that Simon may be thinking about summoning a demon. If the human is thinking about it, he’s not giving anything away.

He says goodbye to Simon when it begins to get dark, following him at a distance until he enters a block of apartments. The fact that Simon doesn’t even glance back once makes Alec slightly wary at the human’s ability to trust anyone.

He walks back to Raphael’s place slowly, letting the shadows swallow him so as not to drown any attention to himself. In the daytime, the streets Alec walks on are bustling with the people, making their way to their workplaces. As the sun begins to set, the streets are nearly empty. The only people he sees are a group of teenagers, making their way home.

***

When he opens the door, Raphael is standing right there. His arms are crossed and his right foot is tapping out a slow rhythm. He has a slight look of worry on his face but Alec can see him try to hide it.

“Was everything okay?” Alec can hear the underlying tone of worry in the vampire’s voice.

Alec turns his back on Raphael to close the door. “Hello to you, too. And I’m fine, thanks for asking.” He turns to face Raphael with a small smile on his face.

The vampire isn’t smiling.

Instead, the small look of worry that was present on his face before has been amplified, and a quick look of anger crosses his face. “I ask again, was everything okay?”

“Everything was fine.”

Raphael looks at him, mouth set in a firm line. “And?”

Alec shrugs. “And nothing. Have faith in your boyfriend. He didn’t attempt to raise Hell so there is no need to worry.” He walks towards the living room. it only takes a second for Raphael to follow him.

“So, you didn’t tell him?” At Alec’s raised eyebrow, the vampire continues. “About me. You didn’t tell him about me?”

Alec scoffs. “You asked me not to, so I didn’t. Besides, telling him that he has a vampire boyfriend wouldn’t have gone down well. How do you think he would have reacted? With smiles and laughing?” He sits on the sofa, looks up at Raphael. “Are you going to see him? Or are you gonna spend the night lecturing me like a child?”

Raphael glares at him. “I’m going to help him study and then he’s visiting his mum.”

Alec laughs. “ _Study?_ Is that what you’re calling it?” Raphael gives him another glare but it doesn’t stop him from laughing again. “Are you keeping an eye on him when he’s in the hospital?” Raphael nods. “Okay.” He grabs at the knife that’s safely hidden in his thigh holster. He turns the handle towards the vampire. “Take this.” He pushes the handle towards the vampire. “Look, you’re good at hiding and keeping yourself hidden. But I’m not the only Angel out there and believe me, they’re not all as nice as I am.” He looks down at the knife. “This blade. It has the power to kill anything. You won’t be able to kill an Angel, not unless you know exactly where our Achilles heel is, but you’ll be able to hurt them.”

“So, I could hurt you with this?”

“You could. But you won’t.”

“How do you know that?”

“I don’t. But I know that if you wanted to hurt me, you could have done it while I was resting. I know you worry about Simon when he’s walking around in daylight. I know that you have me to keep an eye on him when you can’t. Besides, I could claw your throat out before you even got a hold of the blade.” He offers the blade to Raphael again, this time he takes it. “Keep it safe. Keep it hidden. If you get into any trouble and you can’t get out of it? Call for me.” Raphael gives him a confused look. “Another Angel trick. Just shout my name. Focus on it. Use the blade.”

Raphael takes the blade, slides it into his inside pocket. “Thank you.”

***

It takes exactly ten minutes and thirty-two seconds after Raphael has left for Alec to become bored. He spent the last ten minutes staring at a speck of paint on the ceiling. He stares at it in hope of it suddenly disappearing, or moving an inch. When he realises that the spot of dark paint isn’t going to suddenly do anything spectacular, he stands up and decides to have a snoop around.

Raphael’s place is a mix of him and Simon’s personality. The framed photos of the two show the different side to the vampire. He isn’t smiling in any of the photos, but his eyes are soft around the edges and, in the photos where Raphael is looking at Simon, his eyes seem even softer. Alec feels like he is disrupting something that he has no right to be involved in. He decides not to continue looking through Raphael’s things and instead, sits back on the sofa, leans back and closes his eyes.

He lets his mind bring up memories and begin playing them. The first one is of Max. it’s from the first day of Max’s training. He holds the blade that was created for him. There is fear and astonishment on his features, but he holds the blade with confidence and care. Alec goes through each move slowly, watching as Max copies his movements. Alec smiles at how carefully Max follows him. When Alec praises Max on how well he’s done, the fledgling smiles.

The second memory that plays is the one of Max’s birthday. Jace is constantly saying of how bad an idea Isabelle baking is and that it would be a lot easier, for everyone involved, if she just stopped doing whatever it is that she’s doing. Isabelle is humming, ignoring every word coming from Jace and offering up an eye roll whenever Jace gets too close. In the memory, Alec is pretending to supervise, he knows that Jace is right but he’s seen Izzy fight, and he’s not prepared to have that happen to him.

The next memory is of the Other Angel. The red far too harsh on the background of white feathered wings. The way that the Other Angel knew that Alec was going to be sent to wander the Earth. An image of Alec floating on a sea of red; calm and serene. Another second, another image. This time it’s Alec drowning in a sea of black, spluttering and gasping for breath. The image isn’t a memory, but it feels so real to him. He can feel himself grabbing for something, anything that will help him get out of the sea of death. He tries to open his eyes but they feel too heavy, as if there’s something forcing his eyes to stay shut. He can feel himself breathing heavily.

He opens his eyes quickly, the force suddenly gone. He’s grasping for breath, heaving lungful’s in at a time. Whenever he blinks, the sea of black is there. Alec rubs his eyes, attempts to get rid of the ghastly images, but it’s still vaguely there.

“Alec!” He looks around but it’s only him in Raphael’s home. “Alec!” He searches for the voice, but it sounds like it’s bouncing off the walls. “Alec!” The voice sounds familiar, but Alec can’t identify where he’s heard it before. His mind is still focused on the images of the black sea. He knows he’s heard it before, _he knows_ – “Alec!” And then it clicks. The voice is Raphael and now all his mind can do is focus on the vampire’s voice.

He closes his eyes, takes a breath. When he opens them again, Raphael is blindly attacking with his hands. Simon is slouched against the alley wall, eyes half closed. “Use the blade!” Raphael looks towards Alec but that gives the demon enough time to jump at the vampire, hand at his throat and he slightly squeezes. Alec jumps at the demon, claws already out.

The demon hadn’t expected Alec to attack, because he falls of Raphael easily. Alec’s hands are around the demon’s wrists. It’s snarling at him, attempting to wriggle out of the grasp. He looks at the vampire, who’s coughing and seeking air. “The blade!” That seems to knock Raphael into moving. He stands up, bends down to pick up the Angel blade.

“Raph? What’s going on?”

It’s Simon, still leaning against the alley wall but his eyes are open and focused on Raphael.

“You decide to wake up now?” Alec looks at Raphael then down at the demon. He sighs. “I really wanted to kill you.” The demon snarls again and rears up. “But sending you back will have to do.” His claws are gone. He releases the demon’s wrists and places his hands on its chest. Alec can feel his Angel power curl out of his hands. The strings of magic wrap around the demon and with a scream, the demon is gone.

When Alec looks up from the ground, Raphael is leaning over Simon, Angel blade is discarded. He stands up, picks up the blade and begins walking towards them both.

He hears clapping. The sound seems to bounce off the walls of the alley. Before he even knows what he’s doing, his wings are out and he’s turning.

“Wasn’t that just beautiful?” He looks at the figure that said the voice and he feels something overcome him. The blade falls to the ground. He can hear Raphael shouting his name but he doesn’t turn back.

The figure can only be described as beautiful. His features are all hard lines but there is a softness to it all. His eyes are highlighted by light blue eyeshadow, it matches the blue highlights that decorate his black hair. But the eyes are the finishing touch. The yellow cat eyes seem to sparkle in the moonlight. When they make eye contact with Alec, the Angel can feel something within him blossom.

“Who are you?”

The figure’s aura is something that Alec knows he hasn’t ever been taught. The silver specks are on a background of deep purple and something about it is enchanting to Alec.

“What are you?”

The figure laughs, the sound a melody to Alec’s ears. “We can talk all about that later. Now” – he claps his hands together – “put the wings away. There’s no need for that now, is there?”

Alec ruffles his wings, but he doesn’t put them away. “Raphael, take Simon home. I’ll be back soon.” The vampire walks towards him. “Now Raphael. Take the blade with you.” Raphael walks slowly towards him, Alec can hear him pick up the blade and walk away.

“I wouldn’t take the human with you. You can do it here, it’ll be less of a mess.”

He can almost hear the snarl building in the vampire’s chest. “Ignore him Raphael.” He can’t see him but he can hear the footsteps getting closer. Alec lets his wings spread further out, in hope to stop Raphael getting involved. His wings push the vampire back. “What did I just say?” He looks at the vampire, eyes full of resignation. “Go home Raphael.” The vampire gives one last look at the figure, before turning toward Simon. Alec watches as Raphael shushes away Simon’s questions, bundles him up in his arms and slowly walks away.

Alec looks back at the figure, eyes slightly squinting at the brightness of the figure’s aura. “What are you? A demon?”

“I’m a little bit more than that, my dear.” His eyes trace Alec’s wings and he can’t help but blush a little at the darkness in the figure’s eyes. “Care to put the wings away, little one?”

Alec thinks about it. The wings are a source of comfort for Alec, the figure seems to pick up on Alec’s wariness.

“I’m not going to harm you. They’re just very” – the figure looks at Alec’s wings again with the same dark glare – “distracting.” Alec brings in his wings slowly, watching every movement from the figure. The figure watches how every feather flutters as Alec puts his wings away. “Thankyou.”  

“Don’t thank me.”

“It would be impolite of me not to.” He looks over the Angel and Alec has the sudden urge to hide himself. But if he moves his arms to hide his chest, it would only bring more attention to himself. “You must be Alec Lightwood yes? The most recent wanderer.”

Alec gives him a confused look. How does someone who is not an Angel, know who he is. “How do you know that?”

“I know a lot of things. And I’m guessing that the Clave didn’t tell you what your job is.”

“I send things like you back.” It comes out harsher than he expects it to. He hopes that the figure doesn’t hear the bluntness but from his raised eyebrows, Alec knows that he heard it.

“You don’t need to get defensive. But if it makes you feel better, send me back. I guarantee you, I’ll be back within the hour.”

“You can’t do that.”

The figure scoffs. “Oh, can’t I? You don’t know how much power I have. I could destroy you with a flick of the wrist.”

“So, why don’t you?”

There is silence. The figure looks at Alec with softness in his eyes. “That’s a conversation for another day.”

Alec wants to say something more. He wants to press the subject, but the look on the figure’s face stops Alec from saying anything more. But the silence between the two of them is deafening, Alec wants to break it. “You said something, about Simon.” The figure gives him a confused look. “You said it’ll be less of a mess. What did you mean?”

“They didn’t tell you? Of course, they didn’t tell you. The Clave pretend to be pure but they have blood on their hands.”

“What did you mean by it?” Alec decides not to ask what or whose blood the Clave have on their hands.

“That human, Simon. He summoned me, asked me to save his mother. Angel rules dictate that you’re supposed to kill him.”

“Kill him? Why would I kill him?”

“Not only is his boyfriend a vampire, but he’s a human that summoned _me_. You’re a wanderer. You’re supposed to ‘get rid’ of those humans.”

“I’m not going to do that.”

“No. I didn’t think you would. So, you choose to rebel?” Alec doesn’t say anything. “Good luck with that.” The figure smiles. “I’m Magnus Bane. And I’ll be seeing you, _Alexander._ ”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why this took two weeks to upload but here it is. 
> 
> Like always, I hope you enjoy. Drop a comment.

Alec walks back to Raphael’s in a daze. He knows that he isn’t paying any attention to what’s happening around him. His mind is too focused on what the figure, _Magnus_ , his mind provided, had said. Kill Simon? Kill humans? He wasn’t trained to do that. He was an Angel. A creation of Heaven. He was created to for one job; solely protect humanity. He was created to protect Heaven. Why would Heaven want Angels to kill humans? Unless those humans were a threat to Heaven? But how could they be? How could a human have the power to threaten something as powerful as Heaven? Simon may not be completely virtuous and wholly innocent, but he hadn’t done anything to warrant the wrath of Heaven. He’d summoned something, but humans summoned demons all the time, it didn’t mean that they had to be punished permanently for it.

He thinks about what he had said about the Clave. How did he know what they were? Angels are very wary of sharing information with outsiders, and they would not give any of that to demons. Not willingly anyway. Perhaps all that information had come from a banished Angel. But it wouldn’t explain a piece of information that Magnus knew and Alec didn’t. What blood did they have on their hands? The blood of innocent humans? Were the Clave more sinister then a bunch of uptight Angels? The thought disgusts him. But he also realises that Magnus might be lying, that Alec and his whole assignment is some game to him and Magnus wants to win. But why would he lie? What does he get out of it?

***

When Alec opens the door, Raphael is already standing there, Angel blade dangerously close to Alec’s neck. It takes a second for Alec to gather his surroundings. When he does, he grasps Raphael’s wrist gently, expecting him to move the blade away but the vampire doesn’t even flinch. He gently squeezes the wrist, not enough to bruise but enough to hurt and Raphael hisses. While he is confused, Alec’s other hand goes to grab part of the handle of the blade. “Give me the blade.” Raphael’s eyes are glassy, completely focused on the space above Alec’s shoulders. “ **Raphael _._** ” The tone that Alec uses is harsh. It’s enough to make the vampire flinch. He drops the blade. Alec catches it quickly before it drops to the floor and places it in his thigh holster.

“Sorry. I thought you might be someone else.”

“Yeah, well obviously I’m not.” He looks over at Raphael. The vampire looks broken. His face looks sullen. There is a tiredness in his features that makes Alec’s wish that he’d never run into Raphael. “Where’s Simon?”

“Asleep.”

“Any injuries?”

“A few cuts and bruises. Nothing too significant.” The vampire looks at him, eyes tracing over the dried blood on Alec’s wrists. His eyes fall on the cuts decorating Alec’s face. “Are you okay? Those don’t exactly look comfortable.”

Alec instinctively touches the cut on his cheek. He hisses at the contact. “They’ll heal. And I’ll heal Simon’s cuts tomorrow.”

Alec walks past Raphael, through to the living room and sits down. The vampire is quick on his heels. “Did you kill him?”

“No. I didn’t kill him.”

“He could have killed Simon. He nearly did and you didn’t kill him?”

Alec doesn’t like the harshness and tone of Raphael’s voice. The way he snarls the words seem to trigger something dark and angry within Alec.

“Why didn’t _I_ kill him? Why didn’t _you_? You had the blade. You didn’t even have to try. All you had to do was get close and the blade would have done most of the work. But you couldn’t get close. Why?”

“Because he had a blade!” Alec flinches at the loudness of Raphael’s voice. “The blade he had. It was like yours. I thought he was an Angel and I just panicked. I knew that I couldn’t kill him.”

Alec is taken aback and he doesn’t try to hide it. “Are you sure it was the same blade?” Raphael nods. “But that’s impossible.” He runs through the facts in his head. Angels don’t have auras but Magnus certainly had one. There was no angelic inkling within Magnus, nothing that reacted with Alec’s own heavenly power.

“Why is it impossible?”

“He isn’t an Angel. But he isn’t a demon. At least not a lower rank one.” His mind races through memories of his Angels lessons, tries to find any information that points to what Downworlder Magnus may be. He doesn’t find anything useful.

“He’s something different. Something more.”

“Then? What could he possibly be?”

Alec goes through his memories again, and it still brings up nothing. “I don’t know.” He looks at Raphael. “What do you know of Magnus Bane?” The vampire doesn’t speak, but his body language tells Alec all he needs to know. Raphael’s body stiffens slightly as soon as the name drops from his mouth. Alec looks up and Raphael’s face has that same look of fear from earlier. “What is it?”

Alec watches as Raphael wipes a hand over his face before taking a deep breath. “I thought he was a myth. Y’know, like Angels?” He looks over at Alec. “But I was wrong about that.” He takes another breath and looks away. “The stories of Magnus Bane are told to Downworlders to keep us in line. It stops us from getting in Lucifer’s bad books.”

“Stories?”

“They call Magnus Bane the Prince.” Alec looks at him. Bane is Downworld royalty? He can see it now. Magnus walking around Hell with his own group of demon entourage. Looking at people with that dark glare. “The stories say that Bane is a child of the fallen, that he has Lucifer’s own blood running through his veins.”

“If he’s a child of the fallen, it may explain why he has an Angel blade.” He thinks about it for a moment. “But I was never aware that the fallen kept their blades.”

“I wouldn’t put it past him. The stories say that he is clever. Some say he’s calculating. But they all say the same thing; that he has a leaning towards the violent and that trouble always find him.”

“If that’s true then why didn’t he kill us?” He looks at Raphael. “Think about it. You were focused on Simon. I was focused on the other demon and getting rid of him. He could have killed either of us without any difficulty. He could have killed us both. But he didn’t. Why?” He runs through ideas in his head, but none of them makes sense. “He had an Angel blade. I can only assume he knows how to use it. But it doesn’t make any sense. Why not kill us?”

“Does it matter?” Alec gives him a confused look. “Let’s just be glad that he decided to spare us.” He nods. “Get some rest. No doubt Simon is going to have a long list of questions for us both in the morning.”

***

Alec decides to take a few hours to rest. After he checks the perimeter of the house, making sure that there aren’t any hidden nasties, he lays down. He tries to empty his mind, let the stress and fear rush out of him, but his mind keeps giving him questions about Magnus Bane.

Why did he have an Angel blade? If he is a child of the Fallen, _a Prince of Hell_ , then it may explain why he had it. It may have been given to him. But why didn’t he use it? He had plenty of time and opportunities to kill Alec, Raphael and Simon, but he didn’t. Even if he didn’t know for certain how to kill Alec, he could have still severely hurt him. Magnus Bane didn’t move an inch and there must be a reason for it, but Alec cannot think of a logical one.

***

It takes him a few hours more to completely empty his mind. He pushes all the questions about Magnus and him out of his mind, hidden away to be discussed later. He ignores the warm feeling that seems to be slowly blooming his chest. He doesn’t want to put a name to the feeling. Besides, if he doesn’t acknowledge it then surely it will go away by itself.

His mind is completely empty, its peaceful and Alec wants it to always be like this. The emptiness is tranquil, it makes Alec relax and focus on nothing. He wonders about what his family is doing right now. Are his parents upset that he’s been given the assignment that all fledgling Guardian Angels fear? Or are they angry? Are they fighting the Clave? Are they telling the Clave to bring him back? And what of his siblings? Do they know about his fate? Are they protecting each other?

The emptiness is suddenly gone. It’s replaced by the same shade of purple of Magnus’ aura, the same sparkles of silver. It gives him the same amount of comfort that the white emptiness does. Although the colour is blinding, Alec wants to fall into it, he wants to wrap himself in it and never ever leave.

“Told you that I’d be seeing you.” Alec turns around, Magnus is standing there, royal blue gown draped over his shoulders and black sweatpants hanging off his hips. He can’t stop himself from slowly looking Magnus up and down, letting his eyes linger on the expanse of skin showing. “ _Alexander_.” Alec’s eyes quickly glance up to Magnus’ face. “My eyes are up here.” He’s smirking and Alec wants to open his eyes and end this all now. “I would apologise for my state of undress but it seems like you’re enjoying it.” Alec can feel himself blushing. “You’re a hard Angel to find.”

That seems to bring Alec out of whatever headspace he’s currently drowning in. “How did you find me? How did you get into my dreams?”

“I wouldn’t call ‘white space’ a dream Alec.” He looks around, studying the purple and silver. “This is nice though. You should keep it.”

Alec blushes a little deeper. “I’ll think about it.”

“Please do. And to answer your question, it took a lot of time and even more power to get me here.”

“Why?”

Magnus shrugs. “You and your friends were hurt. I thought I’d drop by and see that you’re okay.” Alec watches as Magnus traces the cut on his cheek with his eyes. “That looks like a nasty cut.”

“It’ll heal.”

Magnus hums. “Not soon enough.” He walks over to Alec. “May I?” Alec takes a step back and Magnus sighs. “I’m not going to hurt you. Let me help you.” He takes a step closer to Alec. His eyes trace the cut again. “The demon who did that has been disposed of.” His hand comes up to gently touch the cut. “This may sting.” Alec watches as Magnus’ hazel eyes flash to yellow as Alec feels a spark on his cheek. He hisses out a breath. “There we go.” Alec mutters out thanks. “You’re welcome.” He takes a step back, Alec misses the heat from Magnus almost immediately. “I better go.” He grabs at Alec’s hand, brings it up to his mouth and gently presses a kiss to Alec’s wrist. “Until next time.”

***

He wakes up to Simon shouting at Raphael. He can’t help but roll his eyes at Simon’s raised voice and Raphael’s hushed whispers. He takes a breath before strolling out of the room. He is welcomed to the image of Raphael trying to get close to Simon and the human has an item in his hand, threatening to throw it at the vampire.

“I know that I’m going to regret asking this, but what’s going on?” Two sets of eyes glance at Alec. “Anyone care to explain?”

“Simon is being a child. He won’t listen to reason.”

Simon’s eyes suddenly fall on Raphael. “A child?? My boyfriend has been lying to me about what he is and you want me to listen to reason?” His eyes go back to Alec. “And you! You’re no better than him.” He points at Alec. “You killed that man. Y-you had wings.” He looks between Alec and Raphael. “What _are_ both of you?”

Alec can sense that this situation is about to get worse if he doesn’t try to stop it. “Simon. You need to calm down. Raphael and I will answer everything. So, let’s all take a breath” – Alec takes a breath – “and we’ll all sit down and talk.” Simon looks at him, Alec makes sure to show the sincerity he feels. “Please Simon.” The human nods and Alec watches as he slowly brings the item down to rest on the floor. “Right.” He looks at Raphael. “Let’s all sit down.” He watches as Simon walks through to the living room with Raphael following behind.

***

When there had been arguments in the Lightwood household, Alec would always attempt to calm the situation down a little. In many ways, he was the peacekeeper between his siblings and his parents. He’d listen to them, offer a caring tone and reassuring words. Although that worked often, he had noticed that the presence of a hot drink helped considerably. That’s why Alec was currently carrying three mugs of hot tea to the living room.

He sets his own mug on the coffee table before offering one to Simon, taken with small smile and nearly silent thanks, and offering the other to Raphael, who looked at the drink with disdain before taking it.

Alec takes the seat on the sofa between the two of them. “So” He looks at the two of them. Simon’s head is bowed, taking small sips of the tea. Raphael seems to be glaring at the mug, Alec removes it from him and sets it on the table. He glares at the vampire but he just shrugs and looks away. “Well, this isn’t awkward at all.” He laughs, Simon and Raphael don’t react to it. “I can’t carry the whole conversation.” Still no reaction. “Okay so where shall we start?”

“What are you?” Simon looks up. “Because there’s no way I imagined all of that.”

Alec looks over at Raphael, who seems to be looking away from the two of them. He nudges him. “Care to explain Raphael?”

“We all already know what I am.” He glances at Simon before looking away. “I don’t need to say it.”

Alec is about to say something along the lines of _I’m going to smite you if you throw this away_ , but Simon speaks before he can say it.

“I want you to say it.” He sets his mug down and turns to face Raphael. “I _need_ you to say it Raph. Because right now, I think I’m going insane or this is all some messed up dream that I can’t wake up from.”  

Raphael glances at Alec, who moves his hand towards Simon in a _Go on_ gesture. He looks at Simon. “I’m a vampire. A child of the night. Something that is supposed to only exist in fiction.”

Alec releases the breath he didn’t even know he was holding. Both sets of eyes fall on him and he suddenly wants the ground to swallow him whole.

“And you? What are you? Because there’s no way vampires have wings.” He looks at Raphael, worry in his eyes. “They don’t do they?” The vampire shakes his head.

“I’m called a lot of things. But they all share a similar name. An Angel.”

Simon scoffs. “An Angel.” He looks between Alec and Raphael. “You’re being serious?” Alec looks away and doesn’t react at all. “You are, aren’t you?” He focuses on a speck of dirt that seems to be embedded into the floor. “Angels don’t exist. They aren’t real.”

Alec stretches his arms out in front of him. He moves his hands around, flipping them each way. “Evidently, I’m real.” He brings his hands down, rests them on his knees. “Angels are real, Simon.”

“You’re lying. I get Raphael. It makes sense to me why he never took me out on dates in the daytime so, it kind of seems logical. But Angels? There’s no way.”

He stands up suddenly, walks away from the two of them. “So, you’ll easily accept that vampires exist but an Angel is too unbelievable? Too unrealistic? Give me a break.” He looks at Simon. “Don’t you get it? For there to be vampires, demons and Downworlders, there must be something good and positive in the world. No offence, Raphael.”

“None taken.”

“My point is, bad and good coexist in this world.”

There is silence. Alec thinks that he may have been a little too harsh. “Okay.” He looks at Simon who nods. “Okay. I believe you. But why are you” – he points a finger at Alec – “and he” – another finger at Raphael – “here? As amazing as that sitcom would be, and trust me, I would die to watch something like that. But I’m guessing that Angels and Vampires don’t get along. So why haven’t you killed each other yet?”

Alec makes eye contact with Raphael, glares at him until he looks away and begins to speak. “Protection, mostly. I can’t survive in daylight and Alec can.”

“But what are you protecting?”

Raphael looks away. “I was worried that you were getting involved with the darker side of the Downworld and I knew I couldn’t keep an eye on you all the time. Alec could though.” Simon glances up at him. “We wanted to keep you safe. _I_ wanted to keep you safe.”

“Why did you think I’d get myself involved?”

“Your mother, she.” Raphael closes his eyes and takes a breath. “She isn’t getting better and demons can grant you anything for the right price.”

Alec watches Simon as realisation settles on his face. His eyes seem to light up for a second before returning to their usual meekness.

“So, those guys. They were demons?”

Alec decides to answer this one. “One of them definitely was. But the other? He wasn’t a demon.”

“Then what is he? If he isn’t a demon?”

“Something different.” He remembers the dream, how Magnus just appeared with no warning. “Something more powerful than a demon.”

“That’s Angel for ‘you don’t know’”

Alec rolls his eyes. “Yes. But I will.

***

He decides to leave them alone for a while. He needs to clear his mind completely before he can begin focusing on the intentions of Magnus Bane. He tries to walk around for a while, not paying any attention to where he’s going. It works for a moment, until his legs are guiding him to the meadow where he’d met Simon.

There are less people around compared to the last two visits. There are a few families, one is sitting on a blanket atop of the grass and another is walking away from the meadow with ice creams in their hands. He sits on the same bench where he’d sat with Simon only yesterday. He puts his head in his hands, suddenly feeling exhausted and like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. He doesn’t want to think about why the Clave have sent him to kill humans. He doesn’t want to think about the storm that’s waiting for him when he gets back to Heaven. He doesn’t want to think about anything. He just wants to give it all up and accept whatever punishment the Clave gives him.

“You’re thinking too loudly. It’s distracting.”

Alec laughs, head still in his hands. “You’re distracting me from my thinking.”

He can feel hands wrap around his arms before they gently tug at them. “Come now, none of that.” The hands tug at them again. Alec lets his head be lifted and his arms be pushed to the side. “There we are. No need to hide that pretty face.” Alec blushes at the compliment. “Oh! I didn’t think you could get any cuter but obviously I was wrong.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, so we’re done with the pleasantries for now?” Alec doesn’t say anything. “I assumed you’d have questions, was I wrong?” The Angel shakes his head. “Good. Besides, I left it far too short last time.”

“Speaking of, how did you get into my head like that?”

“Like I said before, with a lot of power. It completely drained me.”

“So, why did you do it?”

Magnus sighs. “I was worried that our first meeting left much to be desired.” He offers Alec a smile. “I didn’t want you to have a bad opinion of me.”

Alec wants to say that he was always going to have a bad opinion of a Downworlder. That there is nothing Magnus could have done to change that fact. He doesn’t though. “Why waste that much power?”

“It wasn’t a waste. I got to see your pretty face again, didn’t I?” Alec doesn’t know how to reply to that. “I’ve made this awkward for you, haven’t I?”

“No!” He brings his voice down a notch in pitch. “I mean, it’s fine. I’ve just never- “

“Flirted with a Downworlder?”

“Flirted with anyone.” He lets out a small laugh. “I don’t really know how to do it.”

“Oh, Alexander, I hope to be your first with flirting. Amongst other things.” He winks at Alec and the Angel can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks _again_. “Seeing you blush is quickly becoming one of my favourite things.” Alec smiles, he covers his face with his hands, trying to hide his blushing face. “Come, little one.” He can feel Magnus’ hands moving away his own. Alec opens his eyes to a smiling Magnus. “I promise I’ll stop flirting with you. For the time being.”

Magnus leans back, eyes focusing on the landscape in front of him. “I forget how beautiful nature can be.” He looks over at Alec. “It’s nearly as beautiful as you.”

Alec can feel his cheeks warming. _“Magnus_.” He knows he’s whining, knows that he’s using the same tone that he uses when he’s pleading with his siblings and he’s exasperated with Jace.

The Downworlder puts his palms up in a defensive gesture. “Okay. Okay.” He chuckles. “I’ll stop.” He looks back at the meadow. “Nature is so beautiful. The way that it changes as the seasons do. The way it survives through the harshest of climates. It’s breath-taking.”

Alec studies Magnus. His aura reminds the Angel of the summer sunset, the purple softening the longer Alec focuses on it. He watches as Magnus’ eyes soften as he observes the landscape. “You’re breath-taking.”

Magnus looks at him, eyes softening even further. He’s smiling, small little crinkles forming at the corner of his eyes. “Why thank you, Alexander.”

There is silence. Alec wants to backtrack, he knows that he should stutter out an excuse for his comment. He knows that he shouldn’t be speaking with Magnus, smiling so softly at him, it stops him from saying anything.

“Nature may be beautiful, but it’s so dangerous.” Magnus looks out at the sunset. “It has the ability to destroy humanity without even trying. It’s such a dangerous thing, yet so fragile.” He looks at Alec. “It reminds me of humanity.”

“How?”

Magnus takes a breath. “Humanity is beautiful.” He raises a hand, motions it towards the sky. “The big man upstairs made sure of that.” He drops his hand. “But, like nature, they’re dangerous. They have the same capacity to destroy humanity as nature does.” He takes another breath, looks away from Alec. “But humanity is more fragile than nature. They do not trust their science when it cannot save their loved ones. They pray for help, for some divine intervention and when it doesn’t come, they break.”

Something within Alec clicks. The pieces of the puzzle seem to come together to form a picture. “That’s why they come to you? As a last case scenario?” Magnus looks at him, eyes no longer soft. “And you do it because you don’t want them to break. You do it because you care.”

Magnus scoffs. “Don’t say it too loudly. I do have a reputation to keep.”

“You want to save Simon.” He searches the Downworlder’s eyes. “You want to _help_.” It all makes sense to him now. Why Magnus didn’t kill any of them. “But, why don’t you just do it?”

“It isn’t as simple as you think. I can save Simon’s mum easily. But I have to take something else in return. Someone else.”

“A life for a life?”

“I know how unkind it sounds but” – he offers a soft smile – “I’d hate to disturb the natural cycle of things.”

Alec thinks about it. For Magnus to save Simon’s mum, someone has to take her place. “I’ll do it.”

“Alec. I’m not going to let you do that.” His eyes sparkle with a flash of the cat eyes. “I’m not going to take your life.”

“No! I.” He gives Magnus a quizzical look. “You’re lucky that I think you’re pretty because if I didn’t, I would have to smite you for that comment alone.”

“You think I’m pretty?”

Alec rolls his eyes. “That’s what you’re taking away from that?” Magnus shrugs. “Okay. Well, I can save her.”

Magnus turns his whole body until he’s facing Alec. “Care to share with the class?”

“God, I hate you.”

Magnus gives him a shocked expression, mouth forming an ‘o’. “That’s blasphemous Alec. The man upstairs isn’t gonna like that.” Alec shushes him. “And you don’t hate me, you think I’m _breath-taking_.”

The Angel lightly shoves him. “I should never have said that. Now it’s going to go to your head.”

“I’m glad you said it. It’s nice that an Angel thinks so highly of little old me.” He smiles, Alec can’t help but smile in return. The warm feeling is back in his chest, soft and fleeting. He wants to chase that feeling. Magnus’ smile is a catalyst to the blossoming of the feeling. “Alec?” He’s pushed out of his thoughts. “You okay?” He nods. Magnus gives him a look. “Okay. Tell me then, how are you going to save her?”

“I’ll use my Angel magic. No big deal.”

“And what of the consequences?”

He shrugs. “I’m not going to let an innocent human die. Besides, the Angels aren’t listening to Simon’s prayers.” At Magnus’ confused look, Alec explains. “Some Angels listen to humanity’s prayers. They act on them, if the person who is praying is wholly good. Simon isn’t bad or evil, so his prayers should have been listened to and acted on. They’re not doing it so I guess I should.”

“Are you sure about this?”

Alec thinks about it. It’s the only logical course of action. “Completely.”

“Just for the record, I think this is a stupid idea.”

He rolls his eyes. “Noted.”

“Right. So, we’re doing this?”

“We?”

“You honestly think I’m going to let you have all the fun?” Alec shrugs. “Oh, _Alexander_ , I’m a Prince of Hell, fun is my middle name.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have one more chapter after this one. Please bare with me though! Because it is currently kicking my ass. 
> 
> enjoy

They both decide that meeting tomorrow would be the best course of action. Alec knows it’s going to take Raphael a little bit of persuasion to get him to even trust Magnus a little, but he has complete faith in himself. As soon as Alec has the vampire on board, Simon will be easy to persuade.

Magnus doesn’t seem wholly convinced with Alec’s plan.

“That’s what you’ve got? To just come out with it? No offence Alec, but that doesn’t sound like the greatest idea.”

“Why wouldn’t it work?”

Magnus looks over at him as if he’s grown a second head. “For a being whose sole purpose is to watch over humans, you’re not completely invested in their behaviour.” He takes a breath, slowly exhales. “Look, aim your convincing at Simon, as soon as he’s invested, your vampire friend – Raphael – he’ll follow willingly.”

Alec can’t really argue. The logic presented to him is sound. Simon would probably be the easier one of the two to persuade. Raphael would sulk, probably mutter out some negative comment, but he’d follow quite quickly, even if he were unwilling. But both would probably be very hesitant.  

“And you?” He looks over at Magnus. “What will you be doing?”

He shrugs. “Tying up loose ends. Preparing a backup plan.”

“Backup plan?”

“Something tells me that your feathered friends upstairs won’t be too happy to know that one of their own is disrupting the natural order of things. So, I’d like to be prepared.”

“Prepared? Prepared for what?”

“For anything.” He turns away from Alec, watches as the last stray of sunlight disappears from the sky. “The Clave are a group of powerful Angels Alec. I’d rather have a trick up my sleeve if they decide to turn up and crash the party.”

“And why would they do that?”

“Please tell me this is all an act and you’re not really being serious right now.” Alec laughs, the sound results in Magnus looking over at him, small smile on his face. “Don’t scare me like that. I almost regretted deciding to let you live.”

“Only almost? That’s something I’m gonna have to work on.”

Magnus laughs. The sound is so soft that Alec wants to wrap himself around it. “You’re lucky I like you.”

Alec puts a hand to his chest, face in mock horror. “You like me? Mr. Bane, people will talk.”

“I hope they do but I imagine the Clave are already whispering about our dalliance.”

They smile. Alec can only imagine what punishment the Clave are imagining for him. It scares him slightly, the idea of banishment, of never seeing his family again. He’d only see them in passing, while they’re following their own assignments. He’d never see Max grow up. He’d never taste Izzy’s awful cooking. He’d never hear Jace play the harp again. It’d hurt him. It’d probably break him, but he’s an Angel, a Lightwood and they always do what is right, no matter the consequences.

He suddenly remembers something. “Hey Magnus. How do you know so much? About the Clave?”

Alec watches as the corners of Magnus’ mouth twitch downwards slightly. “Later.” He doesn’t attempt to make eye-contact with the Angel. “Run along Alec. We have a busy day tomorrow.”

***

By the time Alec reaches Raphael’s place, night has completely fallen. The night sky lacks the sparkle of light from the stars. It makes Alec feel uneasy, something akin to weary anticipation settles within him.

When he enters the building, he’s aware of how lonely it is. It’s late enough for Raphael and Simon to be visiting the human’s mother. The feeling of uneasiness doesn’t dissipate. He worries that if Raphael and Simon run into the wrong crowd of the people, neither of them will be able to fend them off. It’s a stupid thought, he knows that the vampire is strong enough to take a few demons down. Perhaps even injure an Angel if he really had to.

He decides to take the time to rest, if Raphael needed him then he knew what he had to do. Alec lays on the sofa, his eyes already half closed due to exhaustion. He tries to fight it but there isn’t a point. Resting up now would mean he’d have more energy for tomorrow and for whatever the Clave may throw at him. Closing his eyes and falling into that white space is easier than it normally is. Wiping his mind from all worries is even easier.

It doesn’t take long for the purple hue of Magnus’ aura to fill his senses. The appearance of it is slower than the first time. It takes its time to fill every available white space. When it has, there is a small flash of silver, and there Magnus is. The flash of purple in his hair matches the hue of purple that now surrounds them both. Alec glances over his outfit, a tight blue shirt tucked into even tighter black jeans. His breath catches as Alec sees the small flash of skin peeking out of the shirt.

“Wow. You look” – He looks Magnus over again – “Wow.”

Magnus waves his hand over his outfit. “What? This old thing? It’s been sitting in my closet for decades.” He looks over the purple, smiles softly. “You kept the purple.”

Alec just shrugs. “I didn’t really have much of a choice. But I’m glad you like it.”

“I do. It’s bright but calming. Much better than just a dull white.” He looks back at Alec. “So, questions.” He claps his hands, grin on his face. “I’m sure you have more than just a few.”

“Is that why you’ve come sauntering into my head again?”

Magnus’ hand goes to settle over his heart. “Oh, Mr. Lightwood! I’m hurt.” With his other hand, he readies himself to click his fingers. “If you’d rather I leave then I’ll gladly go and leave you to your own devices.”

“No!” Magnus looks over at him and Alec tries to make himself look less eager. “I mean, I like having you here.” Magnus drops his arms to his sides. Alec can feel the silence around them slowly grow. He doesn’t want it to become awkward. “Questions! Right.” He closes his eyes, imagines them both in a setting more comfortable. When he opens his eyes, Magnus is sitting in a cushioned booth, bookcase behind him.

“So, what is this place?”

Alec takes a seat opposite him. “When I was younger, I’d spend hours in the Angel library. I’d read about the history of humanity. Sometimes I’d come here to get away from it all. I find it to be really tranquil.”

Magnus looks around. Alec watches as he slowly studies the setting until his eyes fall on Alec. “It is somewhat soothing. I can definitely imagine a younger version of you sitting here with your head buried in a book.” He smiles at Alec. “So, let’s get through those questions of yours.”

Alec rests his hands on the table between them. “I don’t really know where to start.”

“Then let me. You asked me how I knew so much about the Clave. The answer? You’re not the first Angel to run into me. But you definitely are the prettiest.”

He decides not to take the bait that Magnus has gladly set. “What happened to them?”

“I got the information I needed from them. Some of them decided to turn their back on the whole thing. Others…well, they weren’t so lucky.”

“So, what you’re saying is you killed them?” He doesn’t know how he’s so calm about the whole situation.

“Not all of them Alec. Most of the time Angels would appear to take them home. I don’t know what the Clave do to not very good Angels.”

It comes to him then. The Clave are not only killing humans, but they’re destroying their own kind. “Oh no.”

“What?” Magnus looks over at Alec. “What is it, little one?”

“Normally, Angels are banished, turned away from Heaven to live out an immortal life on Earth. But the Clave aren’t doing it with those Angels. They’re doing something much worse.” Alec can feel disgust well up within him. “They’re torturing them. Killing them slowly over a millennium. What if that’s what they have planned for me?” The disgust within him is changing to something different, something _fearful_. “What if they torture me because they think I’m wrong?” He can feel his chest constricting, he can’t inhale any air. “They’re gonna kill me because I want to save humanity.” His breath is still catching. He can’t get enough air into his lungs.

Then suddenly, Magnus is there, hands cradling his head. “Hey. Breathe for me.” One of the hands encircle his wrist, brings Alec’s hand to rest on Magnus’ chest, just over his heart. He brings his hand back up to cradle Alec’s head. Alec closes his eyes, decides to focus on the gentle thrumming of Magnus’ heart. He mirrors Magnus’ breathing as his chest rises and falls. He opens his eyes. This close up, Alec can see the details on Magnus’ face. The little lines that decorate the corners of his eyes, how they crease when Magnus smiles. The little dimples that become defined with every little upturn of the mouth. Alec can see the small little scars that decorate his face, almost invisible from so far away.

He watches as Magnus’ mouth begins to move, forming words that Alec isn’t focusing on. Instead, he lifts a hand to Magnus’ mouth, lets a finger trace over his bottom lip. He glances at Magnus’ eyes, trying to find something that tells him to stop, but all he sees is a softness in those hazel orbs. The hands around his head start caressing Alec’s cheek. He looks at those lips again, slightly open. He drops his hand and leans forward.

When their lips meet, Alec feels an electric shock. It runs through his body, leaves a burning sensation through his veins. There is a moment where Alec thinks that he shouldn’t be doing this, he shouldn’t be kissing a Downworlder but the thought is quickly replaced with the need for _more_.

One of the hands that are at Alec’s cheek go to the back of his neck. It isn’t forceful. He feels Magnus’ tongue gently tracing at his bottom lip, the touch is soft and Alec gladly opens his mouth for Magnus. As soon as he does, all Alec can taste is _Magnus_. He tastes like raspberries and chocolate; mellow but sharp. He wants to go deeper into Magnus, lick and taste every inch of his mouth until it’s all committed to memory. He doesn’t think he could ever get bored of the taste of him; of the wet heat that is so sweet yet so sharp.

Magnus pulls away from him, Alec chases the movement, wants to feel those lips again, taste that wet heat some more. But Magnus moves further away, their foreheads are touching, Magnus’ nose rubs against his own.

“You continue to surprise me, little one.” His voice is deep, laced with something dark. They’re still close, sharing each other’s breath.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”

“No need to apologise. I’m not sure if you noticed but I quite enjoyed it.” A final nuzzle to his nose and a stroke from his thumb on the base of his neck, and Magnus is moving away. He nudges Alec until he moves to give him space to sit beside him. “Not that I’d love to kiss you again, but I did promise to answer your questions. And I never break my promises.” His hand rests gently atop Alec’s own. “No Angel is taking you away. They have to get through me first and no Angelic power is going to stop me from looking out for you.”

“You can’t say stuff like that. The Clave will rip you limb from limb. They’ll make it slow and painful. They’ll rip you to shreds, and when you’ve begged and pleaded, they’ll heal you up and do it all again.” He grabs Magnus’ hand, entwines his fingers with his own.

“You underestimate me.” Alec opens his mouth, ready to argue against that but Magnus’ finger touches his lips. “I’m not offended, Alec. Underestimation is a good thing. It means people never expect more from you. They never expect me to be as vicious as I can be.” His finger traces Alec’s bottom lip, an act far too like Alec’s act before. “They think that my fingers can only be gentle.” That same finger makes a path down Alec’s neck, touching his collarbones. “They think that I care too much.” He looks over at Alec. “Perhaps they’re right.” His hand gently rests on Alec’s thigh and he nearly moans at the touch. “But they don’t know what we know, do they?” His hand moves down slightly to the space where his holster would be. “I have a secret weapon.”

That seems to wake Alec from whatever stupor he was lost in. “How did you get it? The Angel Blade, I mean?”

Magnus doesn’t remove his hand from Alec’s thigh, instead his thumb begins to gently stroke. “It is a _very_ long story.” Magnus looks away for a moment, something that Alec cannot categorise etched in the lines of his face. “But I can give you the highlights.” He looks at Alec. The hand that isn’t on Alec’s thigh goes to his face, he taps a finger on his chin. “Now, where to start?” The hand stops to grasp at Alec’s own. “My father, he decided to follow Lucifer.” Alec glances up to look at Magnus, but his eyes are focused on the bookcase in front of them. “I know what you’re thinking. A follower of Lucifer. They must be evil, right? He wasn’t. He didn’t hate humanity and he didn’t hate God. Quite the opposite. He wanted to protect humanity, to follow God’s orders. But Lucifer was always very convincing, still is. And my father had somewhat of a soft spot for dear, old Lucifer, so he followed him and he fell with him.” Alec feels the hand on his thigh stop. “The Angel Blade was my father’s. I was given it and trained on how to use it.”

“You could have killed us. Why didn’t you?”

Magnus looks at him, eyes soft but with an underlying of something a little harsh. His thumb continues stroking. “I was going to. I was going to end you all. But then I saw you properly. And when my eyes met yours, something within me called to you. It wanted to cling onto you. And ever since then, the idea of killing you, of losing you forever? It hurts me too much.” His other hand comes to rest on his cheek, thumb rubbing circles on his jaw. “Perhaps our souls call to each other. Maybe we were created for another; two parts of the same whole.” He looks away. “Or perhaps not.”

Alec thinks about it. Magnus has an aura that Alec has never seen before. Demons, Downworlders, Vampires, their auras are always dark. But Magnus’ isn’t. He’s never been told of any other colour. He thinks about the feeling that ran through him when he first saw Magnus, and how it seems to have only grown since then. He thinks about the electric shock that ran through him. When he had kissed Magnus, how all he really wanted was to kiss him again.

He turns to get closer to Magnus, hands grabbing at his own until they’re intertwined. He leans forward until their foreheads meet, and Alec rubs his nose with Magnus’. He laughs and Alec smiles in return.

“I think the same. The ultimate being wouldn’t create either of us unless we were meant to meet. We were meant to be with each other. Our souls are linked, and I am so happy that they are.”

“Even if the Angels don’t like it?”

Alec smirks. “ _Especially_ if the Angels don’t like it.”

***

He awakes to the hushed whispers of Raphael. It feels like some moment of déjà vu, it reminds him of being forced out of his head by the same hushed whispers. It takes him a moment to become accustomed to his surroundings. He’s sitting up in bed, he can hear Simon’s muffled voice behind the door and Raphael shushing him every ten seconds. Alec takes a breath, exhales loudly. He hears the voices outside suddenly stop. A moment later, he hears Raphael tell Simon to rest, he can’t hear a reply but he does hear the footsteps moving away from the door.

There is a very gentle knock at the door before Raphael’s voice filters through.

“Alec?”

“Come through. Don’t worry, I’m decent.”

Raphael opens the door, he doesn’t give any eye contact to Alec. Instead, he gently shuts the door and leans against it. His body language is closed and it makes Alec feel completely uneasy.

“What’s happened?” Raphael doesn’t reply, he just exhales. “Raphael, what happened?”

He looks up at Alec, a quick glance before he diverts his eyes again. “Simon’s mum. She’s…. It’s.” He looks at Alec again. “It’s bad Alec.” His voice seems to have lost its certainty. It sounds broken to Alec’s ears.

“Bad? How bad, Raphael?”

“They don’t think she has long left.” He looks away. “Simon’s a mess and I don’t know how to make it better.” It hits Alec then Raphael is vulnerable and he’s attempting to hide it from him. He feels useless. If Alec had felt any uncertainty about saving her or the consequences of his actions, watching Raphael now erases all fears.

“Sit.” He points to the end of the bed. “I’m going to tell you something and I’d rather you be sitting for this.” Raphael doesn’t move, he just glares at where Alec is pointing. “I don’t have an ulterior motive. I promise you that you’re not going to combust as soon as you sit down.” Raphael stops glaring at the space and looks at Alec who offers a small smile. He takes the few steps to sit on the bed. “See, that wasn’t so hard.”

“So? What’s this something that you must tell me? And why couldn’t you tell me while I was standing over there?”

“What I’m gonna say can’t be repeated. Especially not to Simon.” He watches as Raphael nods slowly.  “Okay, good.” He looks down at his hands, watches as the yellow glow of Angel power flashes in his veins. “I could save her.”

“What?”

He looks at Raphael. “Simon’s mum. I can save her.” He looks down at his hands again, lets the little glow of magic hover over his palm. He lets the wisps of yellow-white travel through the gaps between his fingers. “It wouldn’t be too difficult. All I would have to do is get close, my magic would do the rest.”

“Wait a second. Let’s pause and rewind right now. How are you going to do it? What’s the specifics?”

Alec scrunches up his hands, nails digging into his palm. He holds them there for a moment, takes a breath and stretches his hands. The white wisps of smoke hover over his palms. “What’s the saying? God works in mysterious ways? Much like our magic. It just does what we tell it to.” He closes his hands, reopens them and the magic is gone. “If I want it to harm, then it will. If I want it to save, then it’ll follow my command.”

As Alec had been speaking, Raphael has moved slightly further away, eyes following the movement of Alec’s hands. “Are you allowed to do this?” He waves his hand in the direction of Alec.

“Probably not.” He shrugs. “But the Angels aren’t using their magic for good. So, I don’t think they have any right to stop me.”

“And if they do?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. But I’m not worried. You shouldn’t be either. They’re not stupid enough to make a scene in the middle of a hospital and they’re definitely not stupid enough to bring an army on our head.”

“And Bane? What’s his role in all of this? Is he involved? Or is he involving himself?”

“Is that your way of asking if I’ve spoken to him?”

Raphael grins. “Come on, Alec. It’s obvious you like him. I saw how you stopped moving as soon as your eyes fell on him. It was like something out of a cheesy movie.”

“Oh, shut up. I was taken aback. That’s all.”

The vampire raises his eyebrows in amusement. “Like I believe that. But have you? Spoken to him, I mean?”

He thinks back to their meeting in the meadow, how they had watched the sunset together. “We spoke.”

His eyebrows arch up further. “Oh? You spoke? That’s all?”

Alec thinks about the kiss, how Magnus had tasted like home. “We spoke. That’s all.”

“And? What did he say?”

“A lot of things. But you don’t have to worry about that. We have it all under control.”

Raphael studies him, eyes scanning his face for the smallest hint of anything. But Alec is a pro at hiding emotions, he’s been doing it for the entirety of his existence.

“Okay. So, what’s the plan?”

“You’re on board with it all?”

“Of course. Besides, I can’t let an Angel get all the glory.”

***

They had both talked a little longer, Raphael had interrupted with a long list of questions which had Alec rolling his eyes.

“So, what are we going to do with Simon? Do we tell him? Because I think we should tell him.”

“Are you being serious right now? We can’t tell him.”

“Why not?”

Alec rolls his eyes. “I’m not going to dignify that with a response.” He looks over at Raphael. “No, it’s gonna annoy me if I don’t.” Hand scrunched up in a fist, he brings up a thumb. “Magnus is going to be there. Do you remember the last time they met? I don’t think Simon is going to be exactly overjoyed to see him.” Index finger. “He could get hurt. _Severely._ ” Middle finger. “I don’t know how my power is going to react to it all. It could go wrong.” Ring finger. “The Angels aren’t listening to his prayers for a reason. If they turn up, and they most likely will, I don’t want an innocent human involved the mix. I don’t know what they’ll do to him.” Pinkie finger. “Finally, and most importantly, I don’t want Simon to be let down. There’s no certainty that it will all go smoothly. And if I can’t heal her, I don’t want Simon to be disappointed. So, no, we don’t tell him.”

Raphael raises his hands in a defensive gesture. “Fine. I won’t tell him.” He crosses his arms. “You and Bane are on a first name basis?”

“What?”

“You called him Magnus.” He gives Alec a questioning look. “Are you sure that all you did was _talk_?”

Alec can feel himself blushing, and by the smirk on Raphael’s face, it hasn’t gone unnoticed. “We talked. _That’s all_.”

“Hm. Okay. Whatever you say, Alec.”

***

Alec decides to leave, he thinks it would probably be best. He gives Raphael a time, asks him what he’s going to do with Simon but the vampire brushes the question aside, telling him that he’ll sort something out. Alec doesn’t press the issue, he just accepts Raphael’s answer. He trusts the guy.

Alec walks to the meadow slowly, lets himself get lost in his thoughts. He thinks about what plans Magnus might have. The guy is prepared to kill Angels if they threaten his way of life, but he’ll gladly let Alec continue breathing. If Magnus plans on attacking the horde of Angels that will no doubt appear, there’s a strong chance that he’s going to get hurt, maybe even killed. There’s a spark of fear that flashes through his veins at the thought of Magnus being hurt, and part of him wants to keep Magnus away from it all.

“Alec?” The sound of his name sounds uncertain, it’s enough to startle him. “Alec?” This time, it pushes him out of his Magnus based thoughts. He blinks his eyes a couple of times, lets the little cloud of thought dissipate. When it does, he can see Adrian standing in front of him.

“Adrian? I didn’t think I’d be seeing you so soon.” He smirks but the movement feels awkward for him. He can only imagine how unnatural it appears on his face. “What? Did you miss me?” Alec expects some harsh and witty rebuke from the Angel but Adrian doesn’t say anything. He just stares at him with an uneasy look on his face. Something within Alec tells him that this isn’t right, that Adrian has never, _ever_ , been this quiet or this uncomfortable. “What is it Adrian? Is there something on my face?” He brings a hand to his mouth. “Or has the cat got your tongue?”

Adrian looks at him then, eyes full of something dark. “They’re coming for you. They’re coming to drag you back home.”

Suddenly, Alec has his guard up. He’s suddenly aware of how empty the opening of the alley they’re standing in is. He’s trying to observe his surroundings without making it look obvious and he lets his claws slowly lengthen. “That’s why you’re here? To take me back?”

“Yes. I was sent to wound you so it would be easier to get you back to Heaven.” Alec can feel his wings wanting to come out, he can feel them trying to snap out. “So, why give me the heads up? Why tell me? Why didn’t you just attack?”

Adrian seems to take a moment to think. “I never said that I agreed to it. So, you can put your claws away and I can almost _hear_ your wings trying to get free. Bring it down a notch.”

Alec can feel the outburst bubbling up within him before he opens his mouth. “You just threatened me and you want me to, what? Calm down?” He takes a step forward, hand already reaching towards Adrian’s windpipe, ready to claw and watch the blood gush out of him. But, when he sees Adrian flinch and his eyes suddenly drop to stare at the ground, it makes Alec drop his hand and take a step back.

It takes Adrian a minute before he raises his eyes to Alec. He seems to be taken aback at Alec’s sudden change in actions. There’s something like disappointment in his eyes, almost as if he expected Alec to blindly attack. “Why did you stop?” Alec retracts his claws and relaxes his back.

“You said you hadn’t agreed.”

“I hadn’t. I’m a lot of things Alec, But I’m not an Angel killer.” He glances at Alec; his eyes focus on the Angel blade in his thigh holster. “There are stories, rumours. About you.” He makes eye contact with Alec. “They speak of terrible things. They slander your name, that a Lightwood has fallen in love with a Downworlder. And the Prince of Hell, no less.” Alec scoffs. “Tell me Alec, is it true?”

“The Clave have lied. Are lying. They want me to kill humans. What I have been sworn to protect, they want me to kill.”

“So, what? You’re involving yourself with a Downworlder?”

“And? The Clave are evil and maybe Magnus is as well. But at least he’ll admit to his actions.

“ _Magnus?_ You’re on a first name basis? Tell me Lightwood, when you lay with him, does he make you feel pleasure? The same hands that have killed, do they bring you euphoria?” Adrian’s eyes become darker, harsher almost. “When he kisses you, what do you feel? Because it isn’t disgust. Or shame. Do you feel like you’ve found _home_?”

Before Alec can stop himself, his hand is wrapped around Adrian’s throat. “Listen to me Adrian.” The angel’s name tastes like poison on his tongue. He can feel his claws begin to lengthen, the skin underneath his hand is soft and he has no fear that the flesh will easily rip with just a little scrape of his claws. “I’m not disgusted or ashamed by Magnus.” He can feel Adrian’s pulse thudding out a fast rhythm underneath his thumb, it quickens faster when Alec lightly squeezes. Adrian’s arms quickly rise, hands scratching at Alec’s skin. “Put them down.” The hands stop grasping for a moment, before scratching again. “Put them _down_.” Alec’s tone of voice is harsh. He watches as Adrian slowly drops his arms, he takes a few deep breaths, his pulse thudding slowly. “Good.” Alec said. “Magnus might be a Downworlder, but he’s _good_. Your Clave of Angels are _evil_. They _kill_. They _harm_. They want to _destroy_ humanity. And you stand here and _mock_ me?” He squeezes Adrian’s throat. The older Angel begins to take ragged breaths. “You come here under a guise of friendship, like you’re my own personal Guardian Angel, and warn me? Just before you stick the knife in my throat.” He squeezes again, lets the claws gently scrape at the skin. “The Angels want a war?”

The next movement is quick. Alec rips at Adrian’s throat, he can feel the flesh tear so easily underneath his fingers. Blood spurts at Alec, decorating his face and in that moment, he feels _alive_. He watches as Adrian’s face shows a list of emotions. Pain; at the feeling of Alec’s claws in his skin. Shock; that an Angel would do such a brutal act to another Angel. And fear; which Alec seems to revel in the most. Adrian’s fear is sweet, something that hasn’t been seen by many and he wants to drown in it. “I’ll give them a war. _We_ will give them a war.” He watches as Adrian grips at his throat. He watches as the red trickles down his hand and something curious in Alec wants to know what his blood tastes like. “Run now, little Angel. Tell Mummy and Daddy to be ready to fight.”

***

Magnus finds him sitting against the wall of the alleyway. Alec isn’t sure how long he’s been there, wings wrapped around himself, blood decorating both them and his face. He doesn’t want to think about what he’s done but that seems to be the only thing his mind can focus on. He keeps replaying it in his mind, remembering how good it felt to hurt something. Alec knows it’s wrong, but his mind seems to think differently.

“Alec?” The voice disrupts him from further on what happened. “Alexander?” He knows its Magnus, his voice is filled with the softness that Alec adores, and all he really wants right now is to be held in Magnus’ arms. He can feel a slow and gentle touch to his wings and normally, it would make Alec put his defences up, but this is Magnus. “Little one, will you let me see your face?” Alec unfurls his wings enough to grab Magnus’ hand and pull him until he’s sitting in Alec’s lap. The wings form a shield around them. “What happened, little one?” Alec meets his eyes. He can see Magnus making quick glances to the blood sprayed across his face. “Are you hurt?” Alec doesn’t speak, just nods his head. His arms are wrapped around Magnus, he wants to stay here and let Magnus’ aura cover him. “Can I touch? To see for any cuts and bruises?” Alec doesn’t react, he just rests his head on Magnus’ shoulder. It takes a moment, but Alec feels Magnus’ fingers at his back, touching over Alec’s wing bone. The touch makes Alec shiver.

“Do it again.” Alec mumbles into Magnus’ shoulder.

It takes a minute, but Magnus’ hand trails back over the wing bone, more pressure than the touch before. Alec moans and he can hear Magnus chuckle. “That’s something we are definitely going to experiment with. _Later_.” He drops his hand, lets it rest on the back of Alec’s neck. “I’m going to clean you and then we’re going to talk about this.” Alec mumbles out some sort of agreement; he just wants Magnus to keep touching him.

The hand not at his neck begins lightly touching the feathers closest to him. It makes Alec feel so happy and warm. He wants to spend hours with Magnus touching him like this; gentle and loving. A few minutes of this and Alec is almost purring. _Almost._

“I’m going to clean you up now, okay?” Alec nods. “No little one, I need you to use your voice.”

Alec doesn’t want to, he’d much rather stay curled into Magnus’ shoulder, but he’s aware of the sun setting and Raphael waiting for them both. He’s sure that Magnus would not allow him to leave the blood on his wings, even if they’re going to be hidden.

“Please Magnus. Clean me, please.”

“Of course, darling.” Magnus’ hand goes back to the feathers and Alec feels something spark within him. He turns his head just enough to see a wisp of blue smoke trail over Alec’s wings. He doesn’t look at Magnus, but he knows that those soft, hazel eyes are replaced with the sparkle of Magnus’ yellow cat eyes. He can hear Magnus humming while he’s touching the feathers. Alec watches as the blue smoke hovers over the blood, feels the gentle touch, and then the blood is gone. “You can put your wings away now, little one.”

It takes a second for Alec to understand what Magnus is asking of him. He doesn’t really want to, having the wings around him, around _them_ , is soothing. But he also knows that he can’t stay like this forever, no matter how calming it may be.

With a heavy sigh, Alec leans his head further into Magnus’ shoulder and slowly lets his wings unfurl. As he does, Magnus holds onto Alec, hands touching every inch of skin he can get his hands on. As his wings part further, Alec can see the sun beginning to set.

“What happened Alec?”

His head is still buried in Magnus’ shoulder, the Downworlder’s hand is settled on the back of his neck. He leans into the touch and takes a breath.

“I got angry. I hurt him.”

“Okay” said Magnus. “But let’s start from the beginning.” He pauses. “Who is ‘him’?”

“Adrian.”

“Care to elaborate, Alexander?”

“He’s an Angel. A Guardian.”

The thumb that is settled just below his ear begins to gently stroke the skin. “Why was he here Alec?”

“I don’t know for sure Mags.” Adrian’s warning runs through his mind. He’s not sure if it were a warning or a threat. “He said that they were coming to get me.” He can imagine a battalion of Angels dragging him back to Heaven while he’s kicking and screaming. “The Angels want to take me back to Heaven.”

The thumb stills its movement and Alec knows, although he can’t see it, that Magnus has the same look that he had when they first met. The second of silence seems to stretch for minutes, neither one of them moving or speaking. Then Magnus begins stroking again and the world around Alec, around _them_ , seems to be peaceful.

“No Angel is taking you away.” His voice has dropped an octave, it has a layer of darkness to it. Alec feels himself flinch. Magnus moves his hand from Alec’s neck to his hair, gently running his fingers through the brunette locks. “I won’t let them take you away from me.” His tone has softened and Alec feels calm again. “You’re not going back to Heaven. Not now. Not yet.” Alec nods. “Okay little one. How did you get all this blood on you? It’s not yours, is it?”

He shakes his head profusely. “It’s not my blood.” It hits him then, that he’s severely harmed an Angel. “Oh my God. It isn’t mine.” He feels faint and dizzy, he wants to run away from all this. “I was scared Magnus. I-I didn’t mean to do it.”

Magnus shushes him. The hand in his hair keeps gently petting him and the other hand rests on his back, rubbing soothing circles into the skin. “It’s okay, Alexander.” He can feel tears beginning to run down his cheeks. “Hey now, shh little one. There’s no need to get upset.” Alec snuggles further into Magnus’ shoulder. “You were scared. You did what you had to.” Alec mumbles his acceptance. “Come now Alexander. We have a life to save.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. The last chapter. I just wanna thank everyone who left a comment and/or kudos. This chapter is not as good as I'd like it to be but I might come back and add some stuff. 
> 
> Also, to my little sun, naia. I am very very sorry. 
> 
> Actually, I'm sorry to all of you reading this.
> 
> *Lille sol = little sun

Alec and Magnus walk hand in hand to the hospital. It had taken Magnus twenty minutes to soothe and calm Alec enough for him to stand up and hold Magnus’ hand. He holds on like it’s the only lifeline he must have to the world. Magnus’ hand is soft, his thumb gently strokes over all the available skin it can get to. The action may be small and insignificant, but to Alec, it grounds him. It reminds him that he is safe, that he’s here and Magnus isn’t imaginary, he isn’t going to disappear any time soon.

“Alec? You with me?” He isn’t looking at Magnus, his eyes are focused on their hands. “Alexander?” His eyes glance from their hands to Magnus’ soft, and worried, brown eyes. Alec nods his head but the worry in Magnus’ eyes does not disappear or soften. They scan Alec’s face for something, he isn’t sure what for. Magnus looks away, continues walking and Alec takes it as a cue that their conversation is over. He isn’t upset about it, Magnus is still holding his hand as if it’s the only thing that matters. But Magnus’ voice has the amazing ability to soothe him. It digs into his bones and hums. It relaxes his tense muscles, it makes him feel boneless. It’s what Alec needs right now.

He doesn’t voice his concerns to Magnus.

Instead, he gets himself lost in his thoughts. It’s what he always does when he feels lost. He knows that Magnus is an anchor, but his thoughts make him remember that he’s alive. He remembers the look of pure fear on Adrian’s face when Alec had him by the neck. The way that it had leaked out of him and how it had settled between them, like some sort of damp smell that would not disappear.

Alec had _liked_ the fear.

He had liked how Adrian had panicked and fought the hand grasped at his throat. He had liked how Adrian had gasped for air. He had liked how powerful it had made him feel, how Alec could have watched Adrian try, and fail, to get that much needed air. He could have watched Adrian slowly lose consciousness while he gently squeezed around that vulnerable throat, and Alec would have revelled in it.

His mind offers him a flash of the river of blood. Alec is still not certain as to what it means but it offers him a morbid sense of comfort. He doesn’t feel like he’s drowning, he doesn’t feel the burning pain of his lungs slowly filling with thick, red blood. In the image, he sees himself with wings completely open and eyes closed. His wings are not the bright white that they have always been. The feathers that are framing the wings are a dark red, a bright contrast to the white feathers decorated around them. Alec watches as the dream image of him slowly opens his eyes. They aren’t the soft hazel that Alec has always had.

They’re black.

And suddenly, everything changes. The red river that dream Alec seems to be soaking his bare legs in has changed to something darker. The red frame of feathers has also become darker, the white feathers surrounding them also become darker until all the feathers have become black. The same shade of black as dream Alec’s eyes.

Another flash and Magnus is standing there. He’s holding dream Alec in a lovers embrace. One hand is wrapped around his waist and the other is at his cheek, gently stroking. The black eyes are gone, replaced with Alec’s soft hazel warmth.

***

He’s pushed out of the image when he feels a hard and cold concrete wall at his back. When his eyes blink away the image of the two of them, Alec sees Magnus, hands on either side of Alec’s head and a clear look of worry on his face.

“Are you okay?” Alec doesn’t reply, he watches Magnus’ mouth form the words, watches as those soft eyes scan Alec’s face. “Alec?” He still doesn’t reply. The worry on Magnus’ face seems to increase ten-fold. He brings a hand up to touch Alec’s forehead and Alec is suddenly aware that he is sweating. He tries to move away from Magnus but the Downworlder tuts and places his other hand on Alec’s wrist. Magnus leaves his hand on Alec’s forehead, hums when Alec tries to voice his disapproval. When he brings his hand down to rub circles into Alec’s other wrist, Magnus is staring at him.

“Little one, are you okay?”

It’s obvious to them both that he isn’t okay, far from it. He wants to tell Magnus where his mind is at, but something is telling him that he probably wouldn’t react that well to it. Besides, Alec knows that they’re both late to meeting Raphael and Alec can already imagine the glare that will no doubt be etched onto the vampire’s features.

“I liked it.”

And that was _not_ what he wanted to say.

He had wanted to reassure Magnus that he was feeling a lot better. Because that wasn’t really a lie. He was feeling a lot better and that he was completely prepared to do what had to be done.

But, obviously, his brain to mouth filter had malfunctioned somehow.

Magnus looks at him as if he’s just spoken another language. The rubbing at his wrists stop for a moment and Alec almost wants to look down or voice his disapproval. But just as soon as it stops, Magnus continues it again. Alec opens his mouth to say something, _anything_ , to break the silence between the two of them but Magnus gives him a dark look and Alec’s mouth closes quickly. Magnus looks down at their wrists and for a split second, the rubbing becomes a little harder and the action is grounding him.

“It’s not a bad thing that you liked it Alec. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“But you don’t get it Magnus. I’m not supposed to _like_ it.” Magnus drops his hands as if he’s been burnt. He looks at Alec with fire in his eyes and sadness on his face. “Magnus, I didn’t mean anything bad by it. I just meant- “

“No, I get it.” Magnus interrupts. “Of course, I get it.” He takes a step back, Alec misses the heat straightaway and he’s not embarrassed for his disappointment to show on his own face. “You think Downworlders kill because they get some perverse pleasure out of it? That those we kill suffer a slow, long, and torturous death? Do you think that I don’t know what you’re going through? Do you think I was born wanting to kill?”

“No, I don’t think that. I just wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean that you hadn’t gone through the same revelation.” Alec watches as Magnus stands beside him and slides down the wall until he’s sitting. Alec isn’t certain as to what he should be doing, but when he looks down at Magnus, who has his head in his hands, he sits down beside him, wincing a little when he hits the ground. Magnus doesn’t show any sign of acknowledging Alec. He places a hand on the Downworlder’s shoulder, gentle enough so as not to startle Magnus. He sighs and leans into Alec’s touch.

When Alec hears the sigh, he grabs Magnus and moves him around until he’s curled into Alec’s lap. He strokes over Magnus’ back and gently hums. He doesn’t speak. He doesn’t want to make Magnus feel uncomfortable in any way. He just holds him and, because Magnus hasn’t attempted to get out of his grasp, Alec assumes that the whole position is soothing for him.

“I’m sorry.” It takes Alec a moment to realise that Magnus is the one who’s speaking. “I didn’t mean to lose my temper like that. I didn’t mean to go off at you.”

“Hey, no.” He lifts Magnus’ chin until his eyes meet Alec’s own. “I shouldn’t have been so blasé with your feelings.”

Magnus hums. “You weren’t. I just didn’t think I’d react like that.”

He kisses Magnus’ forehead. “I don’t think you’re a bad person Magnus. Whatever you did, that was in the past. And I know that you care. You’re not evil, no matter what the Clave say.” He kisses him again. “Do you want to talk about it at all?”

“Not right now. We have something important to do.”

***

When they do eventually get to the hospital, hand in hand with barely there smiles on their faces, Raphael is already standing there with his arms crossed and a sour look on his face.

“You’re late.”

“I missed you too, Raphael.” He moves his hand in the direction of the building. “Any trouble?”

“No. A few strays but I sorted it.” He looks down at Magnus’ and Alec’s joined hands. He looks back at the Angel with an upturn of the mouth. “You two seem cosy.” The look he gives Alec is something that screams _you’re telling me about this later._

Magnus offers him a tight smile. “You must be Raphael. I would offer my hand but we’re not exactly on _friendly_ terms just yet.”

“Alec trusts you.” He glances down at their hands again. “Maybe he trusts you a bit more than I first thought.”

Alec can feel himself blushing under Raphael’s gaze. Magnus squeezes his hand before leaning in and kissing Alec’s cheek. “I just have a few things that I need to check up with.” The hand that isn’t holding Alec’s own goes to his neck. He brings their foreheads together and takes a breath. Alec can feel his blush deepening and he can feel Raphael’s eyes boring into him. “I won’t be gone too long.” Their noses rub together and then Magnus is leaning back. “Stay here.”

When Magnus has walked away from Alec and Raphael, the vampire turns to face the Angel. Alec doesn’t need to look at the vampire to know that he has a look of smug satisfaction on his face.

“So, you just _talked_ did you?” Alec doesn’t say anything. “That looked more than ‘just friends’. Do you have pet names for each other?”

“I’m not going to answer that.” He looks over at Raphael and yes, there’s the smug look of satisfaction. “How is Simon?”

“Smooth way of changing the subject there Alec.” He uncrosses his arms. “Simon’s okay. Tucked up in bed and will sleep through to the morning.”

“And you left him alone?” He can hear himself hitching that pitch that hasn’t been used since the last time he’d questioned Jace’s stupid actions. “You do realise that Angels don’t exactly have the same rules as vampires, right? We don’t have to be invited in.” Raphael gives him a, _I can’t believe you just asked me that,_ look. “You do know that right?”

The vampire glares at him. “Of course, I know that. But just so you can stop being a mother hen, I didn’t leave him alone. I’m not an idiot.” Alec opens his mouth to say that he doesn’t think he’s an idiot, as well as ask several questions, most of which focus on who he asked to protect Simon. But Raphael lifts a hand to stop him. “I called in a couple of favours. Trust me, no Angel is going to get close to him.”

“You called in a few favours? We don’t follow the same rules as Downworlders.” He can feel the panic build up within him. “We have to go back. I need to make sure that he’s safe.”

He doesn’t realise he’s panicking _and_ gasping for breath until Raphael’s hand is grabbing at his arm. “Alec?” He grabs at Raphael’s wrist, he needs something to bring him back from the edge. “Do I need to get Magnus?” If Alec weren’t grasping for air, he’d smile or maybe laugh at the fact that Raphael hadn’t referred to Magnus as ‘Bane’. He moves his head in a ‘no’ gesture. “Are you sure?” He nods his head. “Okay well, take a breath.” Alec does. He takes a breath, listens to his own heartbeat gradually slow down. He takes another, and the fear and panic inside his chest seems to dissipate. He lets his hand drop from Raphael’s wrist and he straightens himself.

“I’m okay. I trust you. If you say he’s safe then I trust your judgement.”

The vampire smiles at him and drops his hand from Alec’s arm. “Thanks. And you honestly don’t have to worry about Simon. I may not be as powerful as your boyfriend, but I do know a few powerful people and even I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

 Raphael rolls his eyes. “That’s what you’re stuck on?” He waves his hand in the direction of where Magnus had walked off. “You don’t know how he looks at you. It’s almost as if you singlehandedly placed each star individually in the sky.” Alec can feel the blush creeping its way up from his neck to his cheeks. “You look at him in the same way, y’know? As if he’s a piece of art and you become more enamoured every time you look at him.” Raphael smiles at him then, a smile that Alec has only seen glimpses of when Raphael is talking with Simon. “Don’t let it go. I don’t know what would happen to you if the Angels were to get their hands on you but trust me, it won’t be as worse as leaving the one you love.”

“I don’t love him.”

Raphael gives him a soft look. “No. I don’t think you do. It’s something stronger than that.” He looks away. “Here’s Bane now.” Alec looks in the direction where Raphael is looking. Magnus is walking towards them, small smile plastered on his face. The purple aura that leaks from his pores seems to warm him. “Tell him, Alec. Before it’s too late. Before you spend a millennium walking this Earth, regretting the words you didn’t say.”

Alec doesn’t have a chance to say anything to that because Magnus has reached them both. His hand is holding Alec’s own and all he smells is the sharp cinnamon scent that is Magnus. He wants to bask in that scent for the rest of his days and he doesn’t care about the consequences.

“I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything important.” Alec doesn’t say anything. Magnus’ hand squeezes Alec’s own. His hand is soft, it almost makes Alec forget that Magnus has an immense amount of power at his fingertips, power that could rival his own. “Alec? Everything okay?” He looks at Magnus, sees the small glint of worry in his eyes. Alec offers him a small smile before nodding. The pressure on his hand stops, and he enjoys the safety that Magnus’ touch brings. “Okay. You both ready to head in?” Alec nods. They both look at Raphael.

“I’ll stay out here. Hospitals have never really been my thing. I’d rather keep an eye out for any unwelcome guests. Besides, I don’t want to be in a room with all that magic. Something disastrous might happen and I’d rather have a head start if it does all go south.”

“I’m glad you have so much faith in me.”

“It’s not you I’m worried about.” He pointedly fixes his stare on Magnus. “I don’t know what he can do, not for certain. That’s what I’m worried about.” Alec wants to say something. He wants to defend Magnus. He wants Raphael to see Magnus in the same way that he does. But Magnus beats him to it.

“I’m under no illusion that you like me, Raphael. But it is not _I_ that will be healing her, so my magic will not be rearing its ugly head. But if it will make you more comfortable, then you are welcome to stay out here and keep watch.”

Raphael smirks. “I can see why Alec picked you now. Your taste in sarcasm is impeccable.”

***

“Follow my lead.”

Alec just nods. They hadn’t exactly spoken about the specifics of how they were going to get into the hospital room. But he trusted Magnus and he had complete faith that he had a plan in terms of getting past all the hospital staff.

They walk in hand in hand, Alec can feel the little bubble of uneasiness start to settle in the pit of his stomach. He has the sudden flight response; he just wants to run away from it all. But Magnus’ presence beside him is an anchor, it keeps him tied to reality.

As soon as they pass the threshold of the building, Magnus is flailing. He’s looking frantically from side to side. When he catches the eyes of the receptionist, he’s stalking towards her, dragging Alec along with him.

“Oh hi!” The receptionist doesn’t look up. “I’m wondering if you can help us.” Magnus’ voice is so soft and gentle. The receptionist glances up, looks at Alec and does a double take. Suddenly, her eyes are focused on Alec, she quickly glances at Magnus before her eyes settle back on him.

“What can I do for” She looks Alec up and down and he suddenly wants to hide himself from view, “you?”

He opens his mouth to stutter out a question but Magnus’ squeeze of his hand stops him.

“My _boyfriend_ and I are looking for a patient. A Miss Lewis?” The hand holding his own wraps around his waist, Magnus spreads his fingers on his hipbone in a possessive gesture. “Is there any chance you can check which room she’s in?” He looks over at her nametag, fake smile plastered on his face, “Melissa?”

The receptionist – _Melissa_ – looks at Magnus, smile not reaching her eyes. “Are you the next of kin? Or a close relative?” Magnus’ smile drops and Melissa’s widens. “If not, then I’m afraid I can’t let you visit her.”

Alec can feel Magnus slowly becoming angry if the slight pressure at his hip is anything to go by. He offers a reassuring squeeze to Magnus’ hand before leaning towards Melissa, smile on his face.

“Hey Mel. Can I call you Mel?” She nods. “Great.” He laughs softly. “See, Mel, Miss Lewis is our friend’s Simon mum. He normally sits with her but he couldn’t tonight.” He traces his fingers on the desk, watches as Melissa focuses on the movement. “We’d promised that we would sit with her.” He places his head in his hands. “We know how much trouble you could get in but I promise, we’ll be in there for an hour. Maximum.” He grins, teeth showing. “Please?”

Melissa looks at him for a second before she quickly looks at her computer screen and types something. “She’s in room 36B.” She points towards the hallway. “Down the hall, first walkway on the right, second door on the left.” She looks at them both. “An hour.”

Alec smiles at her, before dragging Magnus towards the room.

***

“Are you going to tell me what all that was about?” Alec doesn’t reply, he’s too focused on trying to navigate them around the hospital staff but it isn’t exactly easy when Magnus is a deadweight behind him. “ **Alec**.” It’s the tone of voice that stops him; it’s too hard for it to be coming from Magnus.

Alec turns around and sees Magnus glaring back at him. The ever-present aura has a frame of dark red around the bright purple. He’s a little angry. His mouth in a set in a straight line and his eyes seem to have a spark of red in them. He pulls Magnus towards him; he ignores the looks that some of the passers-by seem to be throwing at them.

“I saw an opportunity so I took it.” He strokes at Magnus’ neck, lets his fingers play at the curls that fall onto the back of his neck. “It didn’t mean anything.” He kisses his forehead and Magnus melts into the touch. “Besides, I find you _breath-taking_ , remember?” The Downworlder laughs and Alec smiles. “Now, can we get this show on the road?”

***

The room they enter has an underlying feeling of sadness that Alec assumes is from Simon. It’s heavy and it seems to stick in the back of his throat. Although the sadness doesn’t fill the room, it’s enough to make him pause in the doorway; as if a wall is set in front of him.

“You okay?”

Alec shakes his head, mostly to clear his mind, and offers Magnus a small smile. He takes a step into the room, empty but for the woman lying on the hospital bed, tubes leading from her to several different machines.

“Can you sense anything unwelcome?”

He closes his eyes, focuses on his magic as he slowly lets the invisible strands trace the walls of the room. He doesn’t find any trace of Angel magic or of any Angel ever being present. When he opens his eyes, Magnus is looking at him, a question already prepared to be voiced. Alec smiles before offering a small shake of his head.

“Not even a little spark?” He shakes his head again.

“There’s no trace of an Angel being in this building, let alone this room.” He looks around the room, there’s nothing strange or unusual. The lack of something strange makes him feel uneasy. “Something isn’t right.”

“I’m glad we’re thinking the same thing.” He clicks his fingers, a little wisp of blue smoke travels the expanse of the rom. “There’s no trace outside.” The blue smoke disappears. “I’m not liking this Alec. Not at all.”

“You and me both.” He glances towards Simon’s mum. “Let’s just get this done. We’ll worry about everything else later.”

Magnus nods and moves towards the bed. “Are you sure you want to do this Alec? You don’t know what the consequences might be.”

“It doesn’t matter what the consequences are. This is the right thing to do Magnus.” With one hand, he grabs Magnus’ hand and with the other, he lays on the end of the bed.

“Ready?” Alec nods. “Okay. Take a deep breath.” Alec does. “Now, exhale. Keep breathing. Inhale. Exhale.” He follows each instruction with precision. “Slowly, Alexander.” He closes his eyes, focuses on the act of taking each breath. The act itself is very therapeutic; inhaling, holding it for a few seconds before heavily exhaling. He opens his eyes, suddenly everything seems easier to him. The sudden nerves and feelings of uneasiness have disappeared, replaced with something warm and confident. Magnus is looking at him with a smile on his face. “Okay Alec. I think you’re ready.”

Alec returns the smile before focusing on the image in front of him. The steady beat of the heart monitor seems to bounce off the walls. He watches the rise and fall of her chest with every breath.

He next focuses on the magic running through his veins. It seems to feel like its burning him, almost as if it cannot wait to get out and do something. He attempts to get it under control but, if anything, his magic only seems to burn brighter. That is, until Magnus gives his hand a light squeeze. That simple touch quietens the burning sensation within him.

He takes another breath. This time when he exhales, thin little threads of white-gold flows out from his palm. They make their way from the bottom of the hospital bed, encasing Simon’s mum in a layer of white. When he drops his hand from the bed, the threads of Angel magic cling onto her.

“What do we now?”  

“Now we wait.” The sound of the heart monitor seems to become louder somehow. “Right now, the golden threads are scanning for illness and disease. It shouldn’t take too long.” He watches as the golden-white threads become brighter, before dulling to a bright gold. “It’ll tell me when it’s finished scanning.”

They stand there in silence. Magnus leaning against the wall, occasionally glancing at the window for any movement before slowly watching the threads of magic. Alec’s eyes stay focused on the magic, watching it brighten then dull. Every few minutes, their eyes meet before they both quickly look away.

After fifteen minutes of silence, filled only by the sound of breathing, the muted sound of the hospital, and the occasional throat clearing, the golden-white threads become a soft blue. “The magic is healing.” He brings up a hand, palm out to face the only window in the room. Instead of letting invisible threads to flow from his palm, he lets the pure white smoke leak from his fingertips. The smoke becomes a thin thread that travels to the window. They glow for a second before disappearing.

Alec hears Magnus taking a breath before he gradually exhales. “What was that?”

Alec brings his hand down.  “Just checking for any Angels.”

“And? Anything to report?” Alec shakes his head. “I just want to reiterate that I do not like this.”

“Believe me, I know.” He glances around, attempting to look for anything that could be suspicious, but there is nothing. “It’s strange that they haven’t even attempted something. _Anything_.”

Magnus shrugs. “Maybe they’ve decided to leave us be?” He gives Magnus a look in which he hopes that he can see that Alec doesn’t believe that at all. “Yeah, I don’t believe that either.” He looks away from Alec, facing the window and looks outside. “There’s a lot of rumours going around about you. About us. About the Angels.” He turns to face Alec and the Angel sees something akin to fear in his eyes. “What do you know of Sebastian Morgenstern?”

“Not a lot. I know that he’s very talented but he was always something of a recluse when I was in Heaven.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Magnus. We ran in different circles.” He gives him a look of confusion. “What is this about Magnus?”

The Downworlder gives him a small smile before looking away. A sudden feeling of uneasiness settles in the pit of Alec’s stomach and he knows that whatever Magnus is about to say, he isn’t going to like it. At all.

“I did some digging. Don’t look at me like that. Alec didn’t know he was looking at Magnus in any way. “I told you I was making plans.”

“Yeah and by ‘making plans’, I thought you were arming yourself against them.”

“Yes, well.” He moves his hand in a flourish. “I was arming myself. But I like to know the name of the person I’m up against. It makes their suffering and loss all the sweeter.” He smiles but Alec doesn’t return it. “Anyway, I found out that Morgenstern is the one that’s baying for your blood, as it were.”

“How did you find this out?”

“I have my sources Alexander. Besides, what’s the adage? The enemy of my enemy is my best friend. And you Angels have a long list of enemies.”

“ _Magnus_.”

“What? You asked.” Alec looks at Magnus with a look of dissatisfaction. “As I was saying, this Morgenstern guy? He does not like your family. But he seems to have a special dislike towards you.”

“That Angel, the one who said that he was taking you back?” Alec nods. “Yeah, you’re not going to like this. But, when he said ‘back’ he meant it as in back to meet your maker.”

“And you know who gave him that order? Sebastian Morgenstern. In fact, he gave that order to all the Angels on Earth.” He looks back out at the window. “It’s strange that they haven’t made an appearance just yet.”

Alec doesn’t have a chance to reply to that because the light blue threads of Angelic power glow before wrapping around Alec’s wrists and disappearing.

“She’s healed.”

Magnus looks over. “Huh. I expected something of a fanfare. But this is it?”

“I’m sorry that it wasn’t as spectacular as you were hoping.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” He walks towards Alec, lets his hand rest on his shoulder before slowly moving down his arm before grasping Alec’s hand. “Well, if we’re finished here then we should get going.” Alec looks over the room, he doesn’t sense anything untoward so he lets Magnus tug him away.

***

When they leave the hospital, Raphael is standing where they left him, arms crossed and a look of hope decorating his features.

“Everything okay?”

“She’s okay. She’s healed but it will take a few days for her to wake up.” He looks around, there are a few figures attempting, and failing,

 to stay in the shadows. Each of them have a dark aura surrounding them. Alec turns to face Magnus. “Are those your doing?”

“They were a precaution. And obviously, the lack of Angels mean that they were not needed.” He waves a hand towards the figures that sink further into the shadows. He offers a smile to Alec and Raphael. “So, Alexander, let me walk you back.”

“You can. But I’m not inviting you in for coffee.”

Magnus gasps. “I would never assume! Besides, I’d like to take you for dinner before you invite me in for coffee.”

“You’re assuming that I’ll let you take me out.”

“Well, we could skip the date altogether and just – “

“Could you two stop flirting?” Alec and Magnus glare at Raphael. “It’s cute that you’ve found each other but I’d rather not throw up in my mouth before I get home.”

“You think we’re cute?”

Raphael glares at Alec. “I’m not going to answer that.” He begins to walk away from them. “Are you two coming or not?” They share a look before following Raphael. Alec barely notices the small movement of the figures moving with the darkness. “Are they going to be following us the whole way?”

“It’s better for us to be safe rather than sorry.” Alec keeps his eyes focused on the slight movements. Magnus’ thumb stroking over his hand distracts him enough to make him forget about the figures following them. “Don’t focus on them, little one. They are there as a backup. That’s all.”

Alec tries not to focus on the movements but he keeps the shadows in his eyeline always.

“So, how about that date then?” Alec laughs. “What? Saving a human’s life should at least get me a date.”

“You didn’t do anything.”

“Not true. I was there for moral support. And to look pretty, obviously.”

Alec scoffs. “Why don’t you take that ego of yours on a date?”

“Because my ego doesn’t kiss me or look half as gorgeous as you.”

“Wow. Aren’t you the charmer.” He stops walking, Magnus stops a second later.

“Raphael, give us a second, yeah?” The vampire nods before walking ahead. Magnus, with a click of his fingers, sends a blue wisp of smoke towards the shadows. “We’re alone now.”

Alec hums. “Good. Because I’d rather not have an audience for this next part.” He pulls Magnus in closer and savours the small gasp that falls out his mouth. His hand rests on his back, keeping him close. His other hand comes to rest on the back of his neck. He plays with the little strands of hair. They’re soft underneath his fingers. “These last few days have been amazing. Meeting you has made me the happiest Angel to ever exist.”

“Now who’s the charmer?”

Alec laughs. “I learnt it from the best.” He watches as Magnus slowly smiles. And there’s that warmth pooling in his stomach. His heart flutters when he meets Magnus’ eyes. “I’d like it if I could kiss you.”

“I’d like that very much.”

Alec leans in then, slow and steady. He stops before his lips touch Magnus’. They’re sharing each other’s breath. With every exhale Magnus takes, Alec can smell the sweet scent of peppermint and he wants to taste it. He takes a breath before moving the few inches to kiss Magnus. At first, it’s just a meeting of lips until Alec feels Magnus’ tongue licking at his bottom lip. When he opens his mouth, he tastes the sharp taste of peppermint. Magnus’ tongue is still tracing his bottom lip, teasing enough for Alec to moan into Magnus’ mouth.

“Well, isn’t this just cosy?”

They both jump away from each other, Alec’s hand goes to the unseen thigh holster, ready for a fight. Magnus’ eyes have changed from the normal soft brown to the bright yellow cat orbs.

“Oh! Don’t let me interrupt. I’d hate for Alec to miss out on his final gift of passion.” He points to them both. “Please, continue.” Neither Magnus nor Alec moves. “No? Okay but, please remember that I gave you the option.” Alec watches as the Angel brings an angel blade from out of nowhere. He points it towards Alec. “Up until two minutes ago, I didn’t really believe those rumours about you becoming _acquainted_ with a Downworlder.” He glances towards Magnus. “You sure know how to pick them.” He points the blade toward Magnus. Alec’s hand twitches around the handle of his own Angel blade. “And you! Magnus Bane, Prince of Hell. I’m sure you can add ‘Corruptor of Angels’ to the long list of titles you seem to have.”

“What do you want Sebastian?”

“Please don’t act coy Alec. I know that your _boyfriend_ here has been snooping in places he shouldn’t be.”

Magnus chooses that point to click his fingers and within a second, Sebastian is surrounded by a group of demons. Alec assumes that they are the figures who had kept to the shadows.  

“Sebastian Morgenstern? Say hello to my” He moves his hands in the direction of the group, “followers.”

The Angel laughs. “Followers?” He surveys the group of demons before looking back at Magnus. “Seems like you’ve lost support if this is all you can come up with.”

“Oh please. You think this is all I have?” I like to keep my cards quite close to my chest.” He looks over at Alec. “Go and get Raphael. I’m not naïve enough to believe that he didn’t bring his own backup.”

“Magnus – “

“Alexander. **Go**.” He brings his hands together. As he slowly separates them, Alec can see the white frame of the Angel blade before Magnus is holding it and aiming it at Sebastian. “I have this under control.” Alec watches in awe as Magnus circles Sebastian, eyes darting quickly to Alec’s own before returning to the Angel’s. He keeps his eyes on the scene for as long as he can but he’s acutely aware that Raphael is on his own and lacking any form of weapon.

When Alec turns the corner, Raphael is pinned beneath an Angel, fangs bared and hands already clutching at the Angel’s neck. He can see tiny little golden threads begin to slowly make their way towards the vampire.

“What is with you and appearing in places where you’re not wanted?”

The Angel jumps off Raphael, the vampire’s arms drop loosely to his side. The threads of Adrian’s magic that were slowly encasing Raphael, tighten around him before disappearing.

Adrian begins walking towards Alec, Angel blade already in hand. “I was in the middle of something Alec.” He motions toward Raphael. “He a friend of yours?” Adrian gives Alec no time to reply before he continues. “Of course, he is. You’re just a magnet for Downworlders huh? Speaking of, where’s your Prince?” He scans the area for Magnus. When he sees nothing, his eyes light up. “Oh! I see. Daddy’s away fighting your battles.”

As he’s been speaking, Raphael has gradually gotten himself off the ground and slowly stalked towards Adrian. Like a predator stalking its prey, he is silent and moves with grace. Alec catches his eyes for only a moment, but it’s enough for him to realise that Raphael is preparing himself to attack. As Adrian lifts the hand that is holding the blade above his head, raised and ready to bring it down on Alec, when Raphael attacks. He claws at the arm; a thick red cut bleeds and Adrian is hissing at the touch. The Angel turns to retaliate and Alec takes the opportunity to weaken him further. He aims for the neck, claws already completely lengthened but Adrian moves slightly so Alec ends up clawing at his shoulder, flesh easily tearing apart. Blood seeps over Alec’s claws and the urge to taste is there in the forefront of his mind. Adrian drops the blade and Alec takes the chance to catch it before it hits the ground.

Raphael is on Adrian as soon as he drops the blade, fangs bared. He goes for the throat but Alec is quick to distract him from that. “No, Raphael.” The vampire pauses in his movements, just enough for Adrian to throw him off. Raphael hits the ground with a loud crack and Alec outwardly flinches. He watches for a second for any movement from the vampire but there is nothing.  

“Is the Golden Boy all alone?” Alec looks at Adrian, body thrumming with the desire to hurt. His hands tighten around the Angel blades. “Is a _Lightwood_ afraid? I wish I had a camera so I could keep a memento of the look of fear on your face right now.”

“Afraid? I’m not the one that’s unarmed and bleeding.”

“You should be afraid.” His hands drop from his wound, blood still slowly seeping from the cut. “Even now, you’re still so naïve. You don’t even take a second to think; think about what’s happening here.” He takes a step forward and Alec instinctively takes a step back. “Ask yourself, what’s happening here?”

“You’re trying to kill me, that’s what’s happening.”

Adrian rolls his eyes. “Obviously. But, have you ever wondered why? Why did the Clave assign you as a Wanderer? Why was Simon the first human you met?” He points towards Raphael’s unmoving body. “Why did a vampire accept you so easily? And let’s not forget, Bane’s friendship with the same vampire.”

“What are you talking about? Magnus and Raphael don’t like each other. They can’t stand each other.” Adrian strides forwards until he’s in touching distance of Alec. He brings up a blade to rest just below Adrian’s Adam apple. He brings a bloodied hand to rest on Alec’s cheek and strokes gently. Alec presses the blade lightly on Adrian’s neck, enough for a small rivulet of blood to be drawn.

“Sweet, naïve, and innocent little Alexander. Don’t you think all this seems a little fake? Don’t you think your meeting with Bane was a little staged?”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m not saying anything. You should be wary of everyone, especially those who are the closest. Remember, the enemy of my enemy is my best friend.” That makes a chill run through Alec’s blood. The words are an echo of Magnus’ own and something clicks in Alec’s mind.

“I don’t believe anything you’re saying.”

The hand stroking his cheek stops for a second before continuing. “Maybe I am lying. But my words have made you think about your… _relationship_.” He takes a step back. As he does, his hand gently grazes his mouth. He brings a hand to Alec’s wrist, squeezes gently until Alec’s hold on the blade at Adrian’s throat loosens. He grabs the handle of the blade. Alec knows he should end Adrian now, it would only take a second and he could pretend that their conversation hadn’t occurred. But Adrian has already taken a step back. He’s put his blade away and is now looking at Alec. “Goodbye Alec. Be careful out there.” And with that, he’s gone.

It only takes a minute for Alec to move from his current position. He runs towards Raphael, thoughts of Adrian suddenly out of his mind. All he can focus on is if Raphael is alive or not.

He drops to the floor when he gets to Raphael. He nudges him. “Come on, Raphael. Open your eyes.” He brings an ear to his chest, listens for any trace of a heartbeat.

“Vampire, remember? No heartbeat.”

Alec turns his neck so quickly, he’s sure that he’ll have whiplash later. “You’re alive.”

“Won’t be able to get rid of me that easy.”

Alec shoves at him. “I’m glad you’re not dead. Well, not dead again.” Raphael smiles, Alec returns it. “Do you think you can get up? We need to go check up on Magnus.” Raphael nods before offering up a hand to Alec. The Angel takes it before gradually helping Raphael to his feet. The Vampire hisses when his feet are on solid ground. “Are you okay?” Raphael rolls his eyes at him before giving him a look. “Yeah okay, that was a stupid question to ask. So, what’s hurting?”

Raphael points to the leg that he isn’t favouring. “My ankle is broken, but it already feels better than it did twenty seconds ago. It should be back to normal in no time.” His hands go to his head and he moans. “I feel like I’ve just woken up from a 300-year awaited hangover.” He rubs his temple. “He really got me huh?” Alec nods. “Well, it could always be a lot worse.”

“Please don’t say things like that. Something’s bound to happen now.”

“Stop being so superstitious.” He glances over Alec, hands suddenly at Alec’s arms, tracing and pressing into the skin. “You better be okay. Magnus will kill me if you’re hurt.” That same chill from before runs down Alec’s spine, Adrian’s words are echoing in his mind. He’s never really questioned how trustworthy Raphael has been in the last few days. But now, he’s questioning everything.

“What do you mean by that?”

When Raphael meets Alec’s eyes, there is fear, but it’s different than the other times he’s seen it. it doesn’t stay in his eyes either, it slowly fills the features on his face. But the fear is quick, its barely noticeable to someone who wasn’t looking for it. But Alec was and now the puzzle pieces in his mind seem to be slotting into place. The fear is gone as soon as Raphael smiles sheepishly at him.

“I just meant that Magnus wouldn’t exactly be happy if you’re hurt.”

“Magnus? It was Bane a few hours ago. Why the sudden change?”

Alec can see Raphael’s jaw twitch; a sign that he’s getting angry. “I think a situation like this calls for people to be referred to their actual name.” His hands keep pressing on his skin, flipping Alec’s arm over and repeating the firm pressing. “Are you hurting anywhere?” Alec knows it’s a tactic for him to stop the questions and drop the subject.

“I’m fine.” He pulls his arm out of Raphael’s grip. “What are you hiding? What aren’t you telling me?”

Raphael’s arms drop to his sides, hands clenched into fists. “I’m not hiding anything!” He takes a step towards Alec, face contorted in a grimace of pain. “What did that Angel say to you?” Alec doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t even look at Raphael. The vampire coughs to clear his throat. “Alec, look.” His tone has become softer. “Magnus and I, we…we never intended for you to get hurt.” Alec isn’t looking but he can hear Raphael take a step away from him. “We didn’t think you’d be so _righteous_. It wasn’t supposed to be like – “

“ ** _Alexander_**.”

Its Magnus’ voice. _Of course_ , it’s Magnus’ voice, who else would use Alec’s full name like that. Who else would speak with that deep octave of voice and make Alec’s name sound like something sinful.

But there is something different.

The last part of his name is spoken in something close to a screech; a screech that makes Alec’s blood run cold. When he turns to face Magnus, he’s expecting to see those soft brown eyes filled with worry and expecting to feel Magnus’ arms wrapping slowly around him.

That doesn’t happen though.

Instead of feeling Magnus’ strong arms wrapping around him, he feels intense pain. He looks down at himself and sees the handle of the Angel blade sticking out of his chest. He tries to send signals to his arms to reach up and grab at the blade; to pull it out and let his body heal.

But his body isn’t listening.

Instead, he drops to the ground on his knees. His wings are already out. He can’t remember if he had wanted them to be shown but he’s in too much pain to care right now.

Time has slowed down for him, there is a stray thought floating in his mind that tells him that this is it; that he’s going to die on a dirty sidewalk on Earth. He can feel his blood rushing out of his body.

When he looks up, Sebastian is standing there. His face is clawed. His cheek is ripped to shreds, blood seeping from the wound. Alec can see the inside of his mouth and if he wasn’t already busy dying then he would have thrown up at the sight.

He’s looking at Alec as if he’s just stumbled across the most precious jewel in creation.

“You were always far too weak, Alec.” He walks towards Alec’s kneeling form. “Always far too trusting.” His hands grasp at the handle of the blade. “I’m glad that it’s my hand that brought your destruction.” He twists the knife and Alec hisses. “Goodbye Alec.” He pulls the blade out and Alec crumples, his hands save his fall when his body lurches forward. He can feel a lump of something building in his throat. He takes a breath, coughs out a dark red glob of blood. “I’m sure Lucifer will accept you with open arms. He does have a soft spot for corrupted Angels.” Alec watches as Sebastian wipes the blood, _Alec’s blood_ , from the Angel blade. He drops back to his knees and watches as Sebastian glows white before disappearing.

As soon as he’s gone, Magnus is rushing forward, dropping to his knees when he reaches him. One hand goes to the back of Alec’s neck and the other gently pushes him until his weight is being supported by Magnus. He gently lays Alec onto the ground.

“Raphael. Get out of here.” Magnus glances towards the vampire. “The sun is about to rise. I can’t survive losing two people that I care for in one night.”

Alec can hear running footsteps. He doesn’t watch Raphael go because he’s too focused on watching the tears run down Magnus’ face. He brings his hand up to wipe the tears away.

“Don’t cry for me, Magnus.” He strokes at his wet cheek. “This was always going to happen.” He drops his hand. Alec’s wings lurch forwards to wrap around Magnus. “Lay down with me.” His wings guide Magnus until he’s lying next to Alec. The thudding of his heart has slowed right down now, he knows it’s only a matter of time. “It hurts, Magnus.”

“I know, little one.” His hand starts running through Alec’s, now bloody, feathers. “Let me help you.” His other hand comes to hold Alec’s own. “Let me save you, Lille sol.”

“No, Magnus.” It’s getting hard for him to breathe. Every breath brings a drop of blood being wedged in his throat. “Y’know,” a cough racks his whole body, he can see the blood spurting from out of his mouth. Even after he’s finished coughing, he’s quietly moaning in pain. “I’m glad I met you.” He takes a ragged breath and it shakes his whole body. “I…I’m happy.”

“Please save your breath, little one.” Alec has only noticed now that Magnus is sobbing. And they’re not small or gentle sobs. They’re sobs that wrench at Alec’s heart. Every sound adds to Alec’s pain.

“Hey...no. Don’t cry.” He squeezes Magnus’ hand. “I’m happy. You…made me…happy.” He can feel Magnus move onto his side, hand still stroking over Alec’s cheek. “Days…they seem like…decades. To…people…like us.” Magnus moves onto his side, hand still stroking over Alec’s wing feathers. He kisses Alec’s cheek. “I…want…you to…know. That your life…was my life’s…best part.”

“Please don’t do this, little one.  Please don’t let me continue living when you can’t.”

He kisses Magnus then. His mouth is soft and Alec is acutely aware of how much he’s going to miss this; how much he’s going to miss Magnus.

“Goodbye, my Prince.”

Magnus is sobbing now and each sob hurts Alec even more. But he’s made peace with himself that this is the end of everything.

“No, Lille Sol. Let me save you. _Tell me to save you._ **Please**.”

Alec smiles. He can feel his life’s grace slowly ebbing away. He takes a final breath.

***

“Save me.”  


End file.
